


Toxic

by Nightmare_executioner



Category: Marvel, Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies), The Avengers (Marvel) - All Media Types
Genre: Angst, Angst and Fluff and Smut, F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-10-02
Updated: 2019-10-02
Packaged: 2020-11-16 15:58:21
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 39,242
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20862125
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Nightmare_executioner/pseuds/Nightmare_executioner
Summary: As a spy, you got caught by the Avengers and since then, you are working with them. But you would never obey to their rules with your habit of dating men until someone special appears in your life....





	1. Toxic

**Author's Note:**

> The first part of this story is based on the songtext 'Toxic' from Britney Spears and then, I got carried away with the idea ;)

You weren’t an Avenger like the others. You were...

… a thief, a spy, a liar, a bitch, a femme fatale, an evil mastermind, a maneater... 

All these were names you had heard many times in your life but all of that was more than fitting and you were somehow proud of your reputation, but nevertheless, you were an Avenger. Now. You got wounded during a mission, it was an accident, no one knew you would be there. It was a secret Hydra base, and you were just there to steal something. 

A billionaire hired you to steal a certain hard drive disc with certain information. As Tony had found you, you were already unconscious and had a wound in you stomach because Clint had shot you in the darkness. You thought you would be save in the darkness of the high ceiling of the industrial building, but Clint had seen you and shot as he was sure you weren’t one of his own team members. The Avengers took you with them to take care of you and to ask you as many questions as possible when you would be awoken again. 

You awoke, answered not so many questions, how the Avengers had liked, so, you found yourself in a tricky situation as Tony and Fury gave you an ultimatum:

Either you would cooperate with the Avengers to work for the good guys or they saw themself forced to deliver you up to the justice. Generally, that would be the only right way how the Avengers would handle things like that, but you were skilled, you knew many different people, good and bad, and all of that could be useful for the Avengers. 

With the gun pointed at your chest, you did the one thing you could do to save your own skin, even if you already hated it: you joined the Avengers. 

In the early days, the Avengers thought you would be just someone like Natasha Romanoff, a spy-like person who was trained to seduce men when she could use them, but you were far worse than Natasha ever was. 

Every night, a different man left the Avengers compound when you were done with him. It happened several times that Tony, Bruce or Vision took the men by surprise as they met them in the hallway, in the middle of the night or in the dawn of the new day while ‘your’ men were sneaking away because you never wanted the man to stay longer than you had needed him for your fun. Tony always talked with you about it, he screamed and yelled, but you never changed it for one bit because that was your character: 

You liked to pick out the hottest guy in a club, bar or even from the street, you wanted to seduce him, you wanted to drive him crazy and that the only thing he had in his mind were you, maybe till the end of his life. 

You loved men. Real men. Tough, mean bad boys. 

Bad guys who were a match to you. Who could keep up with you and your dangerous lifestyle. You liked men, who weren’t too clingy and you also didn’t want a man who wanted to cuddle after the sex, because the only thing you wanted was to be alone and to have your quiet. 

Your life was dangerous in any kind of way, because you wanted it this way. So, it wasn’t surprising that your sexlife was the same. You loved sex. You really liked it when the man was rough to you and had his way with you because in the end, you did the same with the man and he was addicted to you as if you would be a delicious, tasty drug. And all the men, you had in your life, wanted you again and again. But that was the point where you pushed the man away like something useless. You were like a black widow. The spider, not like Natasha. Usually, a black widow was eating the male after the sex, but you… 

You were far worse. You did everything that the man wanted to come back to you, but you rejected every single one of them, because in the next night, you had the next one in your bed. 

You were like a drug, but you weren’t like ecstasy for the man, which gave the user a high, a good feeling and a good time whenever they wanted it. You were toxic. You poisoned the blood, the mind and the soul of the used men, you made them addicted to you and threw them away as if they would be just a piece of meat. And for you, all the men of this world were exactly that. In your world was no room for emotions like love. There was just space for lust, sex and desire. 

After a while, the Avengers didn’t have needed very long, everyone in the compound knew about your lifestyle and every man of the team kept his distance to you, even if you were the most sexiest woman they had ever seen in their life. You knew that and your effect on them, and you flirted with the men in the compound to tease them and to drive them crazy. You made fun out of them and they knew it, in the end, they were all smart enough to look behind your evil games.

You were used to that men were falling for you the second they had seen you and so it wasn’t surprising that this would happen one day to one of the Avengers, too. 

But you were really surprised as you realized, that from all the possible men in the compound, was Steve ‘Captain America’ Rogers, America’s golden boy, the one who was falling for you. 

Steve knew that it wasn’t the best thing he did in his life, but since he had seen you for the first time, he was utterly in love with you and couldn’t get you out of his mind. You were everything he never thought he would want. You weren’t nice, you weren’t friendly (only if you wanted something for your own good) and mostly, you weren’t a good person. You were bad to the bones and Steve shouldn’t love you. But he did. 

Steve was the only man, who seemed to be addicted to you without that he had tasted you for one second and you were battling with yourself for a very long time what you should do with this information. If you should or wanted to do anything about it. 

Usually, you didn’t care if you would hurt someone’s feelings with your behaviour. The Avengers had forced you to work for them in a more than cheap way and you owed them nothing, so there was no need to stop anything of your actions. 

But as you heard that Steve was falling in love with you, you started to care for the very first time because Steve was different than the man you usually met and he was different than the men you used for your own fun. 

Steve Rogers was nice, he was friendly, a literally good soul, mainly compared to you, of course, and he always tried to do the right thing and to save as many people as possible, what you couldn’t understand, at all. 

He was the complete opposite to you in any kind of way. 

What should you do with such a guy who was nothing like you?

Steve Rogers had nothing to offer to you that would or could impress you. 

Of course, you knew about his physical appearance, you had seen him training many times, and he looked damn good and absolutely hot, but every time Steve saw you, he looked at you with those blue puppy dog eyes, this shy, insecure expression and with a small smile, which had no impact on you. He admired you from the distance. In your eyes, he should just come over to you. He should be a man who took what he wanted because he knew what he wanted. 

But still, since you knew about his feelings for you, you saw him somehow different. It let you think about yourself, mostly why it was bothering you so much, that this nice boy had feelings for you, because you could just ignore it in the first place. 

But you couldn’t ignore it and you couldn’t get Steve out of your mind, so one day, you knew, there was just one way to get over the whole misery and to get Steve finally out of your mind. 

You had to seduce him. You would wrap him around your fingers like all the others. You would show him a complete new world and you would make him addicted to you like all the other men before him. You would intoxicate him with you and, in the end, you could write Captain America on your list of men-trophies. In your eyes, that was a good reason to play with the feelings of this nice man. 

***

As you entered the gym, you weren’t surprised to see Steve train on the punching bag like a lunatic. You stopped and supported yourself with your hands on the handrail of the aisle above the workout area where you could observe him the best. There was a way completely around the gym, which allowed to watch from above the people who were training underneath. Exactly that what you wanted to do.

It was Steve’s usually trainings spot and your usually spot to watch him, because you had a perfect view on his more than just perfect ass.

It was a mystery to you why he trained so much, because, depending to his super soldier serum, he was already super strong, fit and healthy enough for the rest of his life. But nevertheless, Steve trained every day for several hours. Like on this day. 

You walked along the aisle above the workout area of the gym and looked from above down at Steve, who trained in his white shirt and his low hanging sweatpants. Poorly, you had to admit that he was indeed pure eye candy. You never doubted that, but his eyes and character ruined just everything for you. The impacts, his punches left in the punching bag, were impressive. You could see the strength behind every single punch from him and that without even to sweat all too much. 

Steve didn’t have heard you and so you could use the opportunity to watch how Steve was just focused on the helpless punching bag as if it would be his archenemy. 

The energy, which was floating through every single cell of his body, it was enormous and as you walked slowly and elegantly down the aisle to one of the steel stairs, which led down to the workout area, you caught yourself how you were licking your lips by the sight of Steve’s well-toned muscles, strong body and high energy which was seemingly never ending. 

Then came a point, where Steve started to grunt as he increased the speed and the strength of the punches even more and alone that sound from this usually friendly man, set your whole body on a new kind of fire. You stopped at the stairs and watched how Steve punched once again hard and merciless which caused the whole punching bag to fly from the hook, it burst open and flew across the room against the next wall. 

You could see and hear how Steve was heavily breathing after that, but in your eyes, this whole action was just a sign of sexual frustration and tension. Steve Rogers was caught in ice for seventy years and even before that was happening, he wasn’t a so called ‘ladies man’ back in his day. And now, where he had this new kind of body and the whole world was lying to his feet and loved him, what did Steve? He never used it for one second.

You never saw him with a woman, you never saw him flirting and alone the thought, how charged up and loaded this man must be with sexual desire, lust and hunger, turned you on even more because you would have your fun to relieve this man from all the self-imposed containment, and then, when you would have him where you wanted, namely, that he was begging you for more, you would send him away.

You thought, Steve didn’t have heard you, but he did. He always felt where you were. And this time, the first thing he had heard from you, were the clicking sound of your high-heels on the metal aisle above the workout area. You were always wearing high-heels which seemed to have no end. Your legs were perfectly looking in them. They had the most perfect curves and they were long, very long and perfectly shaped. 

Steve also knew, when he heard the always sexy sound of your high-heels, you were wearing a short, tight-fitting, strapless, black dress, like always. You had many of those tight dresses and Steve had never seen you in something cozy. But for Steve, that wasn’t necessary. He was craving to see you in those dresses, because you looked simply perfect in them. Every single dress of you showed your perfect curves of your breasts, of your waist, your hips and of your ass. Steve was longing to touch you, to lay his hands on your body and to appreciate you in any way he could imagine. But you would never let him do it and Steve knew that. 

As Steve was done with his training, soaked with his own sweat and heavy breathing, he heard how you were slowly walking down the stairs. He knew that you wanted his attention with every sexy, slow step you made, and finally, Steve gave in as he watched you while he removed the bandages from his hands.

As you reached the end of the stairs, you stayed silent, you just looked at Steve and his sweaty, in the dusty, yellow light, glistening skin, only a devilish smirk was playing on your lips which let Steve’s heartbeat quickening. But he tried to play cool as he watched how you were walking slowly, and with swaying hips, over to him. Steve was surprised to see you coming closer, because you never did it. You always avoided him.

“What do you want, y/n?” Steve asked a little harsher than intended, but he knew your reputation. He had met the many men coming from your room when you were done with them and even when he was loving you, he didn’t want to be another man on some stupid list. But would he really be able to say no to you when you would offer him a night with you? 

“Wow, is that really the right greeting for the woman you love?” you said smug and stopped only inches in front of Steve to look sexy up at him through your long, black lashes. 

Steve looked shocked at you and tried to look behind your mask, but he couldn’t look behind your facade, and that was something that irritated him more than anything else. It nearly seemed, as if no one would really know you, and that was dangerous for everyone. 

You saw the shocked expression in Steve’s eyes and on his face, which told you that you were right with your assumption about his feelings for your. Now, you could use your knowledge to get what you wanted: Captain America. 

“What? Oh, should that be a secret, Stevie-boy?” you said and let your index finger slowly sliding over his shirt from his stomach and his thick abs to his even thicker and bulky chest. You could see how Steve tensed caused by this small touch, and you could hear how he sucked in a breath as he saw the smirk on your lips and the dark sparkling in your eyes. 

“I don’t know what you mean.” Steve said and tried to keep himself together because you were so close. Your perfect, sexy scent clouded his mind, your tight, short and black dress gave no room for any kind of imagination because it revealed almost everything. 

“Oh really? Do you really want to play this kind of boring game while you could have me instead? I mean, I am here Steve. You can have me if you want. You just have to do what you always wanted, just for one fucking time.” you said low and seductively while you stroked with the back of your hand slowly over Steve’s cheek. 

Steve watched your perfect, deep red lips moving and he felt the hot touch of your small hand on his cool, sweaty skin but alone this small touch electrified him more than everything else he had ever felt in his life. 

“What are you waiting for, Steve? I am here, you just have to step forward and I am all yours how you wanted it all the time.” you breathed low before you stepped a little back to give Steve the room to act to show you that he wanted you. 

Steve battled with himself. All the time where he wanted you. All the time where he wished you would come to him and now you were standing in front of him and offered yourself how he had imagined it so many times. His always righteous thinking brain screamed ‘no’, but his longing heart and soul screamed ‘yes’ and so he did was he always wanted, just for one time. 

Steve stepped forward, looked you deep in the bright, sparkling eyes and laid his hands carefully on your waist. Usually, even that touch would be enough to let you go out of boredom again. Steve was carefully, his hands feather-light that you nearly couldn’t feel them through your dress and his eyes were searching for something in your own. But you knew, he would never find what he was searching in your eyes.

As you thought, you had to say something again, because you got impatient with this always everything over-thinking man, Steve moved his hands down to your hips, he increased the pressure on you a little, so that even you were able to feel his hands on your body, and he bent his head slowly down to meet your lips, finally.

Of course, Steve’s lips were soft, warm and carefully. But his lips were also moving in a slow, passionately pace against yours that he could take your breath away with them. You loved it harsh, rough and fast, but as Steve started to work with his full lips against yours, in his own speed and with his own moves, you melted against him and for the first time, you did something you would never do when the man was so slowly, you moved your hands from his thick chest to his strong biceps and over his shoulders around Steve’s neck to bring him closer to you. 

You wanted more of him. You wanted his lips stronger against yours because the hunger for this usually boring, quiet and too nice man was growing inside of you. Steve could feel the growing impatience from you as you tried to fasten the speed of the kiss, but Steve ignored it. 

As he tasted your lips for the first time, he was addicted to you as if you would be the most delicious but forbidden fruit on this planet. Your lips were warm, they were tasty like sweet cherries and absolutely delicious. Steve enjoyed you with closed eyes, because everything else would distract him too much from you, your taste and your scent. 

The moment, as your hands were moving slowly over his body and behind his neck, as you digged your fingers into the short hair of his neck, was the moment where Steve started to moan very low into your mouth. For you, it was normally a sound of dependency, but for Steve was it a sound of pleasure, because he could finally kiss you and caused you to express your wish to have him closer, just with your hands. 

Steve broke the kiss, and let you confused looking up at him. No man was ever able to break a kiss with you after he was tasting your lips for the first time. But here you were. In the arms of Steve Rogers, America’s golden boy, and he was able to keep his lips away from you just to look into your eyes with the darkest blue eyes, which were blown with lust, you had ever seen. Steve licked slowly over his lips to get the last bit of your taste on his tongue. He noticed how fascinated you watched his tongue moving. To Steve’s surprise, you were the one who said the following thing instead of him. 

“Come with me in my room.” you breathed low and Steve smiled softly before he nodded in agreement. 

You let your hand slowly and appreciative sliding down Steve’s muscled arm to slide your hand into his. You stepped back, your eyes connected with his steely ones, until your both arms were completely outstretched and only then, Steve followed you while he interlaced his fingers with yours. A move, you usually never accepted because it was too intimate and inappropriate, but Steve’s hand and fingers were warm, strong and masculine, and so, you let him do because you would give him just this one night. 

Neither of you said something on your way to the elevator which would bring you from the gym to the hallway of your room. The way wasn’t long to the elevator, but you couldn’t get into it fast enough. You were surprised about your own impatience, but the thought, Steve could kiss you again, once you were in the elevator, fueled your blood even more and let you walk even faster. 

Steve followed you more than willingly to the elevator because he wanted more of you, now, where he had tasted you once. But he had expected you would make him beg for it. You always acted like a woman who loved to have the control over everything, mostly over men, and you always dominated everything around you. 

Steve wouldn’t beg to get more of you, he would take what you would give him. You were the content of many sleepless nights from him, but he would never fall on his knees to beg for more of your body. Steve was maybe in love with you, but he wasn’t a fool. He knew your favorite type of guy and Steve also knew that it wasn’t him and that he was far away from the men you usually wanted to have around you.

But was that really important when he had the opportunity to spend a night alone with you? 

You entered the elevator but you felt how Steve hesitated to follow you. It was just a bit, but you had felt it. And once again, you were confused that he was able to stay where he was. You looked from your connected hands up into Steve’s eyes and after a few moments, where his eyes were just flickering back and forth between yours, he followed you. Steve let go of your hand and you stepped back until your back hit the wall across the entrance, with Steve’s eyes glued at each elegantly step from you. 

Steve didn’t wait for you to wink him over because he didn’t want to wait until you were ready. You watched how the Captain walked over to you with a confidence and determination you only saw on missions against the bad guys but never on normal days. As you watched how he walked just with a few long strides over to you, you pressed yourself flush against the cold wall of the elevator, your hands were left and right on the handrail to give you support and you gnawed in a seductively way on your lower lip because you were curious to know what Steve would do with you.

Steve stopped inches away from you, you could feel his low breath fanning over your exposed skin of your shoulder and decollete and his eyes were roaming over your face. You could see that he didn’t know where he should look at first and you smirked by the thought that you had him already in your hand. 

“Do you like what you see, Captain?” you breathed low and seductively as Steve finally looked into your eyes. Steve’s hand found its way to your cheek and neck and his thumb caressed slowly and appreciative your jawline and your cheek. His carefully touch shot an electricity through your veins you never had felt just caused by such a simple touch. 

“Of course. You are the most beautiful woman I have ever seen, y/n.” Steve breathed against your lips before he kissed you slowly and longing. His lips were softly working against yours and you could just react. You met Steve’s tongue with yours and caressed it slowly what let Steve moan in a deeply and sexy way. As you thought, Steve would lost himself against your lips, he removed his lips once again and kissed down your jawline to the sensitive skin under your ear. 

Steve kissed down your neck and his extremely short, blonde beard stubble was tickling your skin in a thrilling way you had never expected. You closed your eyes by the mixed feelings of Steve’s beard and his soft, warm lips on your skin because you just wanted to enjoy his moves. 

As Steve started to bite carefully into your neck, you moaned breathless and Steve had difficulties to hide his smirk. He never thought he could cause you to produce such a sound just with his lips. Steve always noticed what kind of men you were bringing back home. 

Some of them were looking like people who would belong in a cell of a prison for many, many years. 

But as Steve heard you moaning and as he felt how your pulse quickened under his lips, he enjoyed it and kept going with his moves because he wanted to hear this incredible sexy sound again and again falling from your lips. 

Steve was kissing down your neck to your collarbone and sucked carefully on your skin and left a wet trace with his lips. Steve had supported himself on the wall of the elevator with one hand while his other hand was slowly stroking over your dress, from your ribcage to your hips and back up again. He already had felt the zipper of your dress and his fingers were itching to open it, but he wanted to do it in your room and not one second earlier. 

The ride wasn’t long with the elevator and both of you were more than thankful for it. As the doors were opening, Steve grabbed your hand, interlaced his fingers with yours and led you out of the elevator and down the hallway to your room. 

You felt slightly dizzy, now where you should walk again, because Steve had made you breathless just with his kisses. Now and then, you noticed how your breath was faltering and now, you were surprisingly happy to have Steve as your support next to you. 

Both of you were eager to enter your room and as you were finally there, you opened the door and stepped inside. This time, Steve followed you without a second thought and kicked the door shut with his feet. 

The half-closed roll-up curtain in front of your windows produced a dim light but that meant that you and your bright skin were glowing even more in the half darkness. Steve could see your eyes sparkling through the room. They were glittering dark and you gnawed on your lower by the sight of Steve and how he was watching you from the distance. 

There was no shyness in his face as he looked at you, there was no sadness in his eyes because you didn’t want him. You only saw desire and want in his eyes while he was slowly walking over to you like a predator. 

Steve flexed the muscles in his arms and saw how your eyes were focused on every single move from him. Your room wasn’t big, nevertheless, you stepped back to give Steve more room to walk longer with this sexy swaying moves over to you. Once again, your back hit the end of the room. 

As Steve finally reached you, you were standing with your back against the windows and Steve closed the gap to press you with his strong body against the cold material of the curtains and the window. He looked you deep in the eyes and you knew exactly what you wanted. 

“Kiss me like in the elevator.” you breathed and Steve smirked about the thought that he had done something that you wanted to have again. As you heard the words coming from you, you were surprised about yourself, not that you had said what you wanted, you did that all the time with the other men like a dominatrix, but rather because you wanted Steve’s gentle way with you again. 

You still tried to figure out why Steve was so gentle with you. You had two theories, first, he was gentle with you because he feared to hurt you because of his strength as a super soldier, or second, this was his way with women, if he had a way with women generally. 

But as Steve’s lips were kissing your neck again, you lost the chain of thoughts once again and you focused completely back on Steve. Now, in the safety of your room, you let yourself go under Steve’s control. Steve bit into your neck and you moaned as a response with closed eyes. You tilted your head to the side to give Steve more access to you and your hand found its way automatically into his short hair to keep him where he was with his lips. 

Steve loved the way your skin was tasting. You were sweet, soft like velvet or like another expensive fabric and you were flawless and smooth. As he felt how your fingers were digging into his hair, he wanted to have you even closer. He snaked his arms around your small waist and let his hands dancing over your, in his eyes, more than perfect shaped body. 

Steve discovered everything from you. He felt the warm skin of your shoulder blades and stroked further down over your hips to your ass to give it a delicately squeeze. You had no idea how Steve was able to do it, but every move he did on your body was attentively and appreciative, he wasn’t rough or fast and you liked it a lot. 

Usually, you were eager to get yourself out of your dress, to undress the man and got him into your bed as fast as possible to have your way with him, or that he had his way with you first. No matter how, your goal was the sex and now? With Steve? Your whole body was trembling just because he was kissing you and holding you in his arms as if you would be something expensive and fragile. And you never had felt like something fragile or worth to be nice to. 

Steve enjoyed every single moment with you, but even his patience had an end at one point, and so, his hand moved slowly to the zipper of your dress to undress you because he wanted to feel more of your delicious, soft skin. 

Steve knew he didn’t need your permission to undress you when he wanted it, but he wanted to look into your eyes while he was doing it. Your eyes were always one part on you that put him under your spell, and this time was it the same. Your sparkling eyes were framed by a stunning, dark eye makeup which underlined your incredible eye color even more and let them glowing from the inside. 

You looked through your lashes up at Steve as he created a gap between the two of you. You saw a kind of fire burning in his eyes you had never seen on him, and a smirk on his lips while he he moved both his hands to your back to unzip your dress very slowly. 

Steve’s hands removed slowly your dress from your frame and you snaked your body slowly but surely and skillfully out of your dress until it was lying on the ground around your high-heels and you stepped out of the circle of fabric. 

Steve wasn’t surprised that you weren’t wearing a bra but nevertheless, he was speechless about your stunning beauty. You could see and feel Steve’s eyes roaming over your exposed body because it was such an intensively glance and somehow, he made you insecure as he stayed still silent for moments. 

You never felt insecure because of your appearance, but all men couldn’t keep their hands away from you, once you were naked. But Steve surprised you again as he was just staring at you as if you would be a painting in a museum. As you thought, the strange, unknown feeling inside of you couldn’t get any worse, you saw to your surprise how Steve stepped even another step back. You were about to say something, as you saw how Steve grabbed the rim of his white shirt and undressed himself and revealed with that every single, well-toned and perfect shaped muscle on his incredible steely body. 

The hunger for this man was growing inside of you and went sky high. You just wanted to feel him with your hands, so you did the only thing you knew to do. You stepped closer and placed your hands on Steve’s thick chest to squeeze the muscles, because you always were a sucker for muscled men and the feeling of them underneath your hands. 

Steve kept an eye on you, your hands and your hungry glance in your eyes and smirked while he watched how much fun you had with him. Your hands were moving up and down, from his chest to his abs and along his waist to his hips until you stopped your hands on the band of his sweatpants to open them. As they were lying on the ground, and after Steve were stepping out of them, you noticed the clear and strong shape of his erection covered by his boxers and your mouth started to water just by the sight of the length and the size. 

An urgent desire, to get this man into your bed, was washing over you and so, you made a first attempt to lead Steve into the direction of your bed, but he wasn’t moving as you tugged on his hand. Instead, he smirked as he saw your insecure and shocked expression and in the next second, Steve walked over to you, snaked his arms around your waist, raised you from your feet and placed you on your bed with him on top of you. 

You were breathless and looked surprised at Steve, before he started to kiss your slightly parted lips. You moaned into this mouth, you closed your eyes and appreciated the feeling of Steve’s heavy body weight on yours. 

Steve enjoyed to kiss your delicious lips but he also wanted more of you, and now, he had the opportunity to do with you what he wanted all the time. He started to kiss your jawline and your neck again, but this time he didn’t stop there and moved further down along your collarbone and to the start of your breasts. 

You felt impatient once again, as you felt how Steve worked his way down to your breasts, just to ignore them and to stop kissing you. Steve waited until you looked down at him before he started to smile lopsided and kissed up your body again. Your eyes went wide as you felt his lips moving along your neck again instead to go further down your body. But Steve closed his eyes and removed then his lips from your skin to trace the line of your throat with his nose. 

Even that more than innocent move caused goosebumps all over your skin, what usually never happened by a man’s movement, and this time, Steve felt it and was more than proud about himself. Steve moved the tip of his nose over your slim throat and pushed your head slowly up with his nose under your chin. You let him do, because no matter how impatient you were, you were curious what else Steve could do with you and your body. 

Steve kissed you once again deeply and passionately and digged his one hand into your soft hair, his other hand was sliding along your side, and brushed with his thumb along the dainty curve of your breast. As Steve felt the soft skin of this body part, he lost his control and stopped kissing you to kiss again down your body.

This time, you sucked in a breath by surprise as Steve kissed slowly and gently through the valley of your breasts. He cupped carefully the one with the one hand and kissed over the sensitive skin of the other. That was a thrilling sensation for you as you felt Steve’s warm lips brushing over your nipple before he sucked it gently in his mouth to caress it with his tongue. 

You let your head falling into your pillow, you closed your eyes and you clawed your nails into the sheets underneath you to canalize the lust in your veins somehow. As Steve finally played with your breasts, you could feel how your already wet core became even wetter and your folds were screaming to get filled with Steve’s manhood, but seemingly, Steve wasn’t done with you, yet, and for the first time, you didn’t want to interrupt him. 

Steve liked the soft feeling of your whole skin, your breasts were perfect and they fitted perfectly in his hand. Your reaction caused by his moves fueled his blood even more and every single cell of Steve’s body wanted you. But Steve knew, you allowed him only this one night and so, he wanted to enjoy you as much as possible. 

As you felt how Steve’s lips reached the rim of your black, sexy silk-thong and how his fingers were tracing the small bands along your hips, you thought he would gave in and would remove the thong to finally have sex with you, but no, and he surprised you once again. 

Steve supported himself with his hands on the mattress, left and right of your body, and pushed himself up to create some space to look into your dark gleaming eyes. At this point, you expected everything of this mysterious but more than sensual man. And also at this point, you would do everything for Steve because you just wanted him to continue. 

Steve watched amazed how your hands were sliding up and down his arms, you appreciated every inch of his masculine skin and his strong muscles with your fingertips while you were gnawing on your lower lip. 

“Turn around, y/n. Please.” Steve whispered low and watched how your eyes became bigger by his request. You had no idea what he wanted to do, but you obeyed and turned yourself slowly on your stomach while you were still caged by Steve’s strong and protective arms. You grabbed your pillow, hugged it to your chest and placed your head on it.

Steve watched your elegantly moves, because he was sure, you weren’t able to move any different than sexy and elegantly. As you were done with moving, and as you were lying in front of him how he wanted it, his mouth started to water once again by the sight of you. 

Steve knew a lot of men had you under their control, he was sure you had experienced a lot with a lot of men as long ago before you had entered the Avengers, but every time you looked surprised at him during this night, Steve was sure, you didn’t have experienced what Steve was doing with you. 

He didn’t want to compare himself with the other men in your life, or what they had done with you. He didn’t even want to know how your usually sex-life was, because the only thing Steve wanted was to show you how he saw you with his eyes. He wanted to show you how desirable and sexy you were in his eyes. And Steve also wanted to try to make you feel things you never had felt before. 

Seemingly, Steve was successful because he saw you more often surprised looking at him than ever before. Now, you were waiting for him and whatever he wanted to do with you and that caused a smirk on his lips because he would enjoy what he wanted to do like all the other things he had done so far even if nothing of it was crazy, extremely new or thrilling.   
Steve lowered himself to the nape of your neck and stroked your hair carefully to the side to have access to your neck to kiss you. As you felt his lips and his breath fanning over the exposed skin, you shuddered and Steve saw goosebumps spreading over your flawless skin. 

Steve kissed down your spine and licked with his tongue and the right amount of pressure over your ribcage to massage your skin carefully and appreciative. 

No man in your life had ever done something like that to you and your body. You closed your eyes and hummed low by the feeling of Steve’s delicately tongue and the well-placed kisses on your back. For the first time, you wished, Steve would never stop what he was doing because you felt special in a completely new kind of way. 

Steve kissed further down your body and reached your ass. Small love bites into the round cheeks were tickling you and you giggled, which was new for you and for Steve. He never had heard you giggling or laughing. Even smiling was pretty rare and you only did it when someone made a mistake or when you were flirting with a man. But as Steve heard this sound coming from you, he was sure that he had the ‘real you’ in front of him and that he was able to look behind your tough facade. 

Steve didn’t have kissed further down than your ass, only his hands were slowly stroking over your velvet legs and as he reached your ass again, he hooked his fingers under the bands of your thong and he slid it slowly over your skin, down your legs and threw it on the ground. 

Now, after all the time where you just wanted that Steve would fuck you, you were surprised as he finally undressed the last bit of clothes from your body. An excitement, nervous like feeling was spreading through your veins by the thought that you were able to feel this man inside of you, soon. The fact, that you were excited about an act you usually loved so much that you never waited too long to have sex again, surprised you even more. 

Steve showed you a different kind of affection than you were usually used to, everything Steve did was absolutely perfect, lovely and thrilling in a special way but exactly that caused some troubles inside of your mind. What if Steve wouldn’t like what he would feel through you? What if you wouldn’t be that kind of thrilling he was for you and he would be maybe disappointed?

In the end, you remembered yourself that you were on a mission. In the end, you wanted to make Steve addicted to you and not the other way round. You needed the control back again, but Steve didn’t make it really easy because he found a way how you could enjoy yourself.

Steve kissed up your back and placed his lips on your ear which startled you because you were drowning deeply into your thoughts. 

“I want you.” Steve breathed seductively and with his Captain America voice into your ear and even if those words weren’t new for you, to hear them coming from Steve with this deep, breathless voice was more than perfect and the signal for you to turn around in his arms again. 

While you were turning around, Steve removed his boxers and his longing, strong erection sprung finally free from its prison. You looked slowly down on Steve’s body, you gnawed on your lower lip by the sight of this perfect man above you, and as your eyes landed finally on his thick cock, you nearly choked on air by the sight of the size. 

Steve saw your glance and your huge eyes and smirked. You placed your hands on his chest but your eyes were still focused on the lower half of his body. Steve settled himself between your legs and placed his index finger under your chin to force you to look at him. 

“Don’t worry. I will be gentle to you.” Steve said cheekily and smirking and this time, you were smart enough to say something back. 

“Oh, I think I will handle you perfectly, Stevie, just…” you said devilish and seductively while you hold the eye contact with Steve. 

“Just, what?” Steve asked amused and lowered his body a little more. 

“Just fuck me, already.” you said demanding and you were truly surprised to see Steve smirking by the sound of your lust filled voice. Steve could hear the impatience in your voice and it was a pure pleasure to hear your voice like that because you wanted him. Steve had dreamed that so many times that he couldn’t count it any more. And now, finally, he had heard you saying exactly that what he always wanted to hear. 

“Everything you wish, y/n.” Steve said deeply, supported himself with his one hand next to your head and guided his cock to your waiting and longing entrance with his other hand to push himself finally into you. 

As you felt how Steve’s thick cock was sliding into you with ease, because your walls were already dripping wet, you moaned deeply and hoarsely and the only thing you could do was closing your eyes by this feeling. 

Steve watched excited your face while he was sliding deep into you. You felt perfect around his cock and your wet walls drove him almost crazy. But to see how you were reacting to the feeling of him inside of you turned Steve on even more and he didn’t want to miss one second of the sight. But the feeling was incredible, too, you were tight, wet and warm that Steve knew he could lost himself inside of your. 

“Fuck, Steve…” you moaned as Steve reached the deepest point of you with his thick cock. As Steve heard you moaning his name with the most erotical sound, he nearly lost it and lowered his head to the crook of your neck to bury his face in it to kiss you. 

As Steve bit your neck stronger than ever before, you wanted more of Steve because he drove you totally crazy like no man before him. You moved your hips and rolled them against his to bring Steve’s cock even deeper into you. 

With every move of your hips, Steve could feel how his cock buried itself deeper into you and every time Steve hit your deepest point and your sweet spot, you moaned even louder. You moved your hands to his back and clawed your nails violently into the skin and his shoulder blades which caused Steve to moan in a sexy, deep way what shot shivers down your spine. 

The rhythmically movements of Steve and his body were perfect and were fitting with yours in any possible way. Steve’s pace was low enough to drive you totally insane but they were also fast enough to make you breathless. Steve also took always your breath away when he was kissing you slowly, longing and passionately. 

As the two of you moved completely synchronously, Steve removed his lips from yours and watched how you moved your arms over your head to show Steve that you were offering yourself to him and what did Steve to surprise you once again? 

Steve held your eye contact and moved his strong, masculine hand slowly over the soft skin of your arm. He slid his hand over your palm to interlace your fingers with each other in a more than intimate way. At least, it felt for you like something intimate you had never shared with a man. But that was nothing new for you in this crazy, confusing night you had with Steve. 

But you still wanted the control back over this situation and so, after a few more moments where Steve pumped his cock again and again inside you, you placed your hands on his broad shoulders to push him slowly away from you. Steve tilted his head questioningly and you smirked about his clueless expression. 

You literally enjoyed it to see this broad, huge soldier confused, but you could also see how Steve waited patiently for you and what you wanted from him. That he was still able to wait and to restrain himself drove you crazy on a different kind of level because you had no idea how he was doing it. 

“Tell me what you need, y/n. Tell me what you want.” Steve breathed low and looked deep into your eyes. That was exactly the thing you thought Steve would do: asking what you wanted instead of taking the initiative, like all the times where he admired you from the distance. And what did you now? 

You felt special, because for the first time, a man was asking what you wanted and you also knew, Steve would give you what you demanded because he not just wanted to make himself happy, he also wanted to make you happy and that you would feel good while he was with you.

“Let me ride you, Captain.” you breathed smirking because you could feel how it turned you on to call him by his super hero title. As the only response, Steve enclosed you with his strong arms and rolled on his back with you on top.

You were surprised about the fast move but it also felt good to straddle Steve and to have him between your legs and under your control. You tucked your legs up next to Steve’s body and moved your hips slowly to increase the friction between the two of you once again. Steve sucked in a breath and moaned deeply as he felt how your wet walls were skillfully moving along his cock because you let your hips flexible moving in a circular motion. 

You watched how Steve closed his eyes in pleasure and to enjoy you and your body on him. You gnawed on your lower lip as you felt how Steve’s hands found their way once again on your back and how he gently stroked from your ass up to your shoulder blades to dig his fingers into your soft skin. This time stronger and a little more painfully but you liked it even more. 

But now, you had Steve where you wanted him. You had him in your control, he was underneath you and you could do what you wanted. Now, you could show him what you had to offer to him and you knew you were good in what you were doing because all the men wanted more of you. 

You sat slowly up on Steve’s crotch, with your hands placed on his strong, thick and only for you twitching chest. Steve felt your small weight on his body and how you supported yourself on his chest to sit straight on him and even that caused his cock to move deeper into your core, what let you both moan and made you immobile for the first seconds until you got adjusted to the feeling. 

Now, you were able to increase the speed of your movements bit by bit to drive Steve crazy how you wanted it all the time. And it worked pretty well. As you had the speed that you wanted, and as you were riding Steve’s cock hard and strong, Steve grabbed your hips to make sure that you stayed where you were. He wanted to continue your moves and you gave him what you wanted, because that was all you needed right now. 

Every single muscle in Steve’s body was tensing caused by the incredible strong feeling your moves were giving him. He never had felt like right now, with you on top of him. You saw in Steve’s lust filled face that he wanted more, more from you and more from your body, so you gave him exactly that without he had to ask. 

You rode Steve stronger and you moved your one hand to his throat as an experiment if he would like what you were about to do. As Steve felt your small hand around his neck and lying on his throat with a firmly pressure, he opened quickly his eyes to look into your dark gleaming eyes and he also saw your devilish smirk on your lips.

Of course, you saw Steve’s quick glance at you but you also saw how breathless he became by your rough and fast movements. But beside your core, something else on you was longing. Your lips were longing to kiss this man underneath you and so, you lowered yourself to increase the pressure on Steve’s throat a little more and to kiss him urgent while Steve was still guiding your hips over his cock to bury himself deeper into you, once again. 

You could feel how Steve’s cock reacted more and more to your movements. You could it feel in the way how his thick, throbbing cock was pulsating against your wet walls because now, Steve was very close to his own high. No matter how good Steve had tried to restrain his orgasm from its release, you could feel that Steve was only moments away to release his juice into you. 

The thought alone turned you incredibly on, and usually, to feel the man coming deep inside of you were one of your kinks, but this night, you had a higher goal. You wanted to be Steve’s drug and so, you had to sacrifice your own desire. 

You got up on your knees once again to slide slowly from Steve, and you pulled his long cock slowly out of your wet core. Steve looked shocked at you and tried to push you again onto his cock but you were faster and you smirked as you saw pure horror in his desire filled, dark blue eyes, for the first time in this night. 

“Y-Y/N… what…?” Steve whispered, nearly helpless but with a deep, heavy, breathless and lust filled voice which shot a hot fire of sexual arousal through your veins. He reached out for you, but you pushed his hands slowly aside onto the mattress and crawled further down his strong body to stop with your mouth over his crotch. 

Steve’s perfect thick length glistened, caused by your juice, in the dim light of your room. His cock was completely covered with it and your mouth watered just by the thought to have Steve in your mouth. Without another thought, you enclosed his manhood with your hand and started to kiss the tip of it slowly several times, which let Steve moan with lust. You removed your lips again to look into Steve’s face and you smirked proudly as you saw how this huge man underneath you bit violently on his lower lip. 

You took that as a signal to move on with what you were doing and you lowered your head once again to enclose Steve’s cock with your lips. You slid your lips slowly down his complete length until you hit the base and you could feel how the head hit the deepest spot in your throat as Steve’s cock was completely in your mouth. 

Steve groaned by the feeling of your hot, wet mouth around his cock and he clawed his nails into the sheets to canalize the hot lust-filled feeling which was shooting through his whole body and through every single cell. 

At first, Steve wanted to stop you and whatever you were about to do, because he wanted fun for you, too, But as he felt your full lips around his cock, he couldn’t stop you and he just enjoyed the incredible feeling you gave him, once again. 

Steve’s cock was twitching inside of your mouth while you were busy to suck your own juice from Steve’s length to clean it up. The residues from you reminded you how deep Steve was inside of you, previously, and let your own wet core screaming with desire to let Steve fill you up again, but you stayed where you were. 

You sucked Steve’s cock again and again. You let your lips sliding up and down along his length and with every slide, you increased the pressure a little more inside your mouth and the dancing moves of your tongue got stronger to massage the cock. 

Steve’s breathing increased and his heartbeat quickened as he felt how merciless you worked your mouth on his cock. He sucked in a breath, every time when he felt how he reached the deepest point in your throat. Your skillfully tongue drove him crazy like nothing else before. He had never felt something like that and Steve really tried to preserve every single bit of what you were doing, but as he felt how a knot of electricity was building deep inside of him, he knew he couldn’t keep himself together anymore because he was too close. 

You felt it, too that Steve was close and so you did everything you could to make this man coming, because this was another one of your kinks, when the man was releasing himself in your mouth. And Steve did exactly that. His cock was vibrating and twitching inside of you while you quickened your speed with your mouth and after a few more slides up and down his length, Steve groaned raspy and breathless and clawed his nails deeply into your sheets because he didn’t want to hurt you. 

Steve shuddered underneath you, trembled you and your whole bed with his moves and in the next moment, you felt how Steve’s hot juice was spilling out of his cock straight into you and was slowly running down your throat. This feeling shot you nearly over your own edge and your hand was about to flinch to your wet walls to stroke yourself and to give you your own release, but instead, you focused back on Steve and started to tickle his balls carefully to increase the feeling for him even more. You looked up into Steve’s face just to see that it worked perfectly what you were doing. You saw that Steve enjoyed every little second. 

To see and to hear Steve coming like he did, because of your actions, was incredible. It was the most sexiest sound and view you had ever heard or seen. You watched his face, how it changed into a mask of pure ecstasy, with tight squeezing eyes and an open mouth which produced the deepest moan of pleasure you had ever witnessed while you were still spoiling him with sucking and licking.

The muscles in Steve’s throat were tensing as he continued to moan breathless because, seemingly, he wasn’t able to produce any kind of sound anymore as his orgasm was continued for several more seconds. 

Indeed, it was the longest orgasmn of a man you had ever caused and you were proud of yourself and your skill with your mouth and tongue. But you weren’t sure if Steve’s orgasm and its intensity was just caused by you or if he just really had lived so long without to have sex. 

In the end, it didn’t matter for you, because that, what Steve was feeling right now, was caused by you and you knew, you had Steve where you wanted him all the time. Now, you were convinced that you had made Captain America addicted to you because every man would love to experience that again and again. 

You removed your mouth slowly from Steve’s cock and licked the last bit of him cum from the tip before you crawled slowly over his body up to look into Steve’s eyes. As you hovered above him, Steve opened his eyes and watched how your tongue licked slowly over your swollen, red lips to clean them. 

“You’re welc-” you started smugly with an arrogant smirk on your lips but Steve’s strong hands on your hips and the sudden flip over your both sides were more than enough to silence you in the middle of the sentence. You found yourself lying on your back again, with Steve hovering above you. 

Usually, when the man came, or when you had finished the man how you wanted it, the sex was over and you threw them out of your room. You had no use for them when they weren’t able to fuck you again, but Steve stayed and you didn’t know why. Steve had what he wanted, he had fucked you, the only thing that really mattered and you had given him, obviously, the best blow job he ever had. 

So, now, you were really asking yourself why Steve was still there and why he was hovering above you with a smirk on his lips instead of leaving your bed. 

“Wha-” you tried it again, but Steve stopped you with his lips on yours for an urgent, fervently kiss, before he kiss down your neck and your whole body again. This time, Steve didn’t have stopped and kissed down your skin until he reached your wet, aching core because it was still empty and unsatisfied. 

You sucked in a breath as Steve’s lips kissed along your inner thighs to the sensitive skin of your folds, before he parted them carefully with his fingers to give his tongue access to you. Steve felt with his tongue how dripping wet your walls were and he smirked by the thought that he was the reason behind it. As Steve’s tongue licked teasingly slow over the bundle of nerves inside of you, you closed your eyes and pressed your head stronger into your pillow by this incredible feeling. Not many men were able to satisfy you in this way because they were too addicted and too intoxicated from you and what you were doing that they couldn’t think straight when you were done with them. 

Obviously, Steve was different. In more ways than you had expected. He licked with his soft tongue up and down between your folds and shot every time an enlightening electricity through your body which let you jolting with lust.

Now, it was Steve’s opportunity to look through his lashes up and to watch your beautiful, with sexual desire filled, face. He smirked slightly against you, before he buried his face again into your pussy to spoil you even more. 

You felt Steve’s surprisingly skillfully tongue deep in you and all you wanted was that he would never stop. Your fingers found their way into his soft, blonde hair out of instinct and you digged them deep into it to gain any kind of hold as you felt how your core started to constrict slowly but surely to your most favorite feeling as your orgasm was building in you. It was the first one this night and you could feel that it could be the most intensive of your whole life. 

The well-known heat was building in your core and spread itself through your veins like a wildfire. You were squirming as Steve still licked the inner walls of your folds while he was eating you out. Seemingly, you were moving too much, because the next thing you felt, were Steve’s hands under your ass and how he kept you in place with ease, so he would never lose the contact to you. 

Steve licked once again over the sensitive bundle before he sucked it carefully and slowly in. You sucked in a breath and you squeezed your eyes shut even more, caused by this feeling and you increased the grip in Steve’s hair even more as you felt how your orgasm was washing like a hurricane over your whole nerve system. 

“Fuck, Steve!” you screamed breathless out and you were struggling with your voice and your uneven breath. 

Steve listened to your husky, raspy voice and felt your uneven breathing and your quickening heartbeat in your whole body while he was sucking your juice into his mouth as the orgasm was washing over you. 

To hear his name falling from your lips like that was everything Steve had dreamed and it was far better than in his dreams. As Steve felt that you came slowly down from your high, he crawled back up to watch you relax while he snaked his strong arm under your head as a pillow. 

****

The first ray of sunlight were falling through your roll-up curtain and were tickling your skin in the most teasingly way. You squeezed your eyes stronger together but the sun was tickling your nose. The only thing you wanted was to scratch your nose to erase the tickling feeling on it, but you also didn’t want to move. You felt happy, satisfied but exhausted and still slightly tired, so you saw no reason to open your eyes. 

“You look so beautiful in the morning, y/n.”

You heard the deep, smooth voice coming from a spot in front of you. You knew this voice because you had heard it the whole last night, but you weren’t sure why you heard it now, in the morning, in your bed. 

You opened your eyes carefully. First one and then the other one. The sun was falling on your face and you blinked several times to get a clear view, but Steve was really lying next to you in your bed, with his hands folded underneath his head as a pillow. Steve’s light blonde hair was tousled and his blue eyes were sparkling like diamonds as he was looking at you. 

You thought about everything that had happened the last night. It was crazy, in a totally new way, but you weren’t sure why Steve was still in your room and mostly, why he was still in your bed. THAT happened NEVER with one of your other men. 

“Why are you still here, Steve?” you asked quietly but not angry. Somehow, you had the wish to not destroy the peacefulness inside your room which seemed to be an own little bubble for just the two of you. Alone this thought frightened you a lot. Steve started to smile, very slowly, very lovely. His perfect full and pink lips were curling up to a breathtakingly, fondly smile and you could feel how your heart quickened once again by the sight of it. 

“You asked me to stay. So, I stayed. Do you remember?” Steve whispered low with so much love in his voice that you were sure, if it would be a liquid, you would drown in it. 

“I- I did what?” you asked breathy, you were more surprised over yourself than about the fact that Steve actually stayed. 

“You wanted that I stay and I couldn’t say no to you.” Steve explained further, still smiling but you could see how he started to blush slightly. 

You alway threw the men out of your room, because you didn’t want to see them in the morning. You didn’t want to see the pitiful glances in the eyes of the men, because you were convinced they would look at you like that. You didn’t want to hear the lame lies that the man would call you, because you knew they would never do that.

It was true that you wanted your fun because that was all you were good at. You were used to handle things on your own because men always had disappointing you. 

All of that were running through your mind as you looked at Steve who was still observing your face and let his clear blue and calming eyes roaming over your face as if he tried to memorize it. The way how Steve looked at you were the same how he had looked at you during the last night. Nothing of his amazement and amorous rapture for you were replaced with something else. You could see that Steve saw you still as the most unique and most perfect person he had ever seen and how he had let you feel the last night. 

It scared you a lot. All of that was more than new for you, so the only thing you knew, you could do, was to activate your defense like you always did it. 

“Yeah, I remember, but... “ you whispered and Steve waited patiently still with this lovely smile on his delicious, plump and tender lips and his sparkling eyes focused on you. 

“Oh god damn it, Steve! I hate you and your perfect face!” you groaned annoyed as you rolled with your eyes and hid yourself under your blanket to avoid Steve’s lovely glance. Poorly, the blanket wasn’t thick enough to muffle Steve’s soft chuckling. Even the bed was slightly shaking as he trembled it with his laughing.

Steve looked at you, hiding under the blanket, and he had never expected that you could be so cute. But if Steve would be honest to himself, he wasn’t really surprised, instead, he had learned a lot about you during the last night. 

Steve grabbed carefully your blanket and removed it from your face to force you to look at him. As he looked over the rim of the blanket and met your eyes, his smile grew bigger and bigger and you could see how his eyes started to sparkle again. 

“Y/N, you don’t hate me. And I can show you why.” Steve breathed low, removed the blanket completely from your still naked body and placed one of his big hands on your cheek and tangled his fingers with your hair to caress your cheekbone slowly before he kissed you softly and passionately. 

You moaned breathless as you felt Steve’s lips on yours. Your hands found automatically their way over his thick arms to his broad back and your fingers were digging into his hair as he climbed on top of you to deepen the kiss even more and to settle himself between your legs as he felt that you were responding to his movements. 

You melted against Steve’s strong, muscled body. Your whole body was craving for this soft, lovely but freaky passionate man, his hands and lips. There was a feeling inside of you, you only had when Steve was kissing you, when he was stroking you, when he was loving you. 

You knew what this kind of feeling was: Addiction 

You were addicted to Captain America.

Captain America had intoxicated you with his love to you and you wanted more. 

You never thought that this could ever happen, but Steve was your very special poison. Your own, personal drug. 

Steve Rogers was toxic and you couldn’t get enough of him.


	2. Addicted

Steve showed you two long hours why you weren’t hating him and his face, and you enjoyed every single second of it because no other man had such an impressive stamina. At the same time, Steve had so much fun to satisfy you again and again and you wouldn’t dare to argue with this super soldier who couldn’t keep his hands from you. In this point, you were selfish but the things, Steve let you feel, were too amazing to let them coming to an end. 

Now, the two of you were lying next to each other, breathless and panting for air but totally satisfied. The only sound that filled the room were the sound of your fast breathing to regain any kind of composure. 

While you were laying on your back with closed eyes, you tried to get a clear mind with steady and deep breaths. The lack of oxygen during the last orgasm, Steve had given to you, had made your mind dizzy and cloudy like never before. It was an enigma to you how Steve was able to do it, but you already knew that you always wanted more of him, of the sex with him, of his slow hands on your body and his gentle lips on yours. But in the moment, you considered that, your brain was loudly screaming at you and asking if you would be stupid. 

You couldn’t really think that, that you wanted more of just one man when you could have so much other men. Even after this incredible night and morning you had spent with Steve, he was still different than all the other men in your life. He was kindly, friendly and totally unlike you. You knew yourself good enough to know that you would get bored after a very short time. So, you would do what you always did. You would say goodbye to Steve, you would kick him out of your room and then, you would search for the next man and the fun you could have with him. That was your usual plan. And then happened Steve… 

Steve rolled on his side and snaked his arm under your head as a pillow and to your own surprise, you scooted closer to Steve and snuggled against his arm as you rolled on your own side to face Steve who had a lovely smile on his lips. But just with this one, small move, Steve was able to create the thought in your mind that you didn’t want him to leave you. 

What was wrong with you? Men always were just sex toys for you. So what had changed? What was different with Steve? 

But would you be really honest to yourself, just for one short moment in your life, you would have known that Steve was already more than just another sex toy for you, he wasn’t like all the other men you threw away, but even when you had this thoughts already somewhere deep in your mind, you would never admit that to yourself because you feared, like always, the consequences when you were too careless with your feelings. 

To protect yourself and your vulnerable heart, you had to be again this heartless woman and so, you opened your mouth to say the magic words you always said: ‘you can go, now. It was nice with you. Bye.’, but Steve didn’t let you and said instead something that surprised you. Not the first time during the last hours you had spent with Steve, but still surprising.

“I’m sorry, y/n. I’m afraid that I have to leave...I- I have a meeting with Tony in an hour.” Steve whispered calm and low not to ruin the peaceful atmosphere between you two while he stroked some strands of your tousled hair out of your face to tuck them behind your ear and then, he let his hand sliding down to your back to draw random patterns on your soft skin. 

You followed the move of Steve’s gentle hand and fingers along your face to stroke the hair away. Even that innocent move shot tingling, unknown feelings through your veins. You looked up into Steve’s eyes which were already focused on you and were filled with pure love, what scared you a lot. 

But there was something different that caught more your attention, Steve looked incredible handsome in this exact moment, even more than usually. His perfect, muscled, naked body was covered with dim sunlight which was falling through your roll-up curtain onto him and into his clear, ocean blue eyes. His eyes were stunningly sparkling as they captured the incide light while he was looking at you. Suddenly, you had the thought, you could get used to see this face as the first thing in the morning. 

Steve saw your hesitation, or was it confusion? And he noticed that you stayed silent as he expected a cheeky remark. Steve thought about the whole situation between you two: The fantastic night he had spent with you, that he stayed the night because you wanted him to stay, that he was still there in the morning and that he was still with you in your room...usually, he met your men in the night or in the morning how they were sneaking away. But this time, with Steve, you had acted different than he was used to it. Steve asked himself what that could mean and if he should be happy about it.

“Okay.” you whispered with a calm voice and a nod to cover your real thoughts that you didn’t want Steve to leave you. But it wouldn’t match to your reputation if you would beg for Steve to stay. And you couldn’t allow it, that, from all the men, Steve would be the one who would change you and your behaviour. Steve kissed you softly once again, before he got up from your bed and dressed his trainings clothes from the last day. Steve was sure he had seen something in your eyes before he had kissed you, but he wasn’t brave enough to ask because he didn’t want to hear your answer. 

Steve was pure eye candy and you enjoyed every single move from him. It was a fascinating sight how the muscles of his back were slowly moving as he bent forward to grab his shirt. And your eyes immediately moved along Steve’s back down to his perfect ass. You watched how his shoulder blades and toned muscles in his whole body were slightly moving underneath Steve’s soft and smooth skin. You had many well-trained men in your life because you loved this type, but Steve was different, once again. He was stronger in every tiny cell and his stamina was just … wow. Internally, you thanked the super soldier serum in his blood for just everything. It did a perfect job. While you were watching him, you were gnawing on your lower lip like a childish teenager, what let you wondering about yourself, once again, but you couldn’t stop yourself, either. 

Seemingly, Steve had felt your intense and nonchalant staring at him because, before he dressed his shirt, he turned around with an amused expression and a cheeky smirk, locked his eyes with yours while he dressed slowly the shirt over his head and then over his chiseled and totally stunning body. You followed the rim of the tight fitting shirt along his thick chest and down his abs until it reached the rim of Steve’s sweatpants and only then, you were released from the spell of the body from this super soldier and you looked Steve finally in his eyes again. You nearly choked on air because of the cheeky and almost arrogant smirk on his lips. 

“Do you like what you see, y/n?” Steve asked bold and you knew, well, you could see, that he asked exactly that because you had asked him exact those words in the elevator before you had brought him into your room. But you knew how to play this game and so, you pushed yourself up to your knees to crawl slowly over your bed to meet Steve at the end of it. 

Steve watched your moves, every single, tiny, elegantly move from you. How you were cat-like crawling over the bed and Steve could feel how you fueled his blood all over again. As you reached Steve, you stopped and pulled yourself up with your hands on Steve’s hips but your hands already found their ways under his shirt to feel his warm, soft skin. Steve smirked as he saw how you were looking slowly along his body up at him and finally into his eyes with a devilish smirk on your perfect lips. 

“Well, it’s not that bad, but don’t overestimate yourself too much, Captain.” you breathed low and seductively, and once again, Steve surprised you as he started to chuckle very low. It was a true laugh because he was really amused about what you had said and that confused you. Steve heard the words and the sound of your voice and he knew how you wanted to appear in front of him, but the longing and the want in your eyes for him already betrayed you. Then, Steve let your heart beating faster with his next moves and you weren’t sure if you would be just dreaming because no one had ever done that.

Steve bent slowly forward as if he wanted to touch your body but instead, he grabbed the crumpled blanket from your bed and laid it gentle around your naked body to cover you completely into the silky fabric. After that, Steve let his hands slowly sliding along your covered arms to reach your neck and your face to cup it carefully with his huge, warm hands and caressed your cheekbones with his thumbs. 

“Seriously? You are still playing the tough and farouche one?” Steve whispered very low and very lovely as he held your eyes captive with his. While he was still stroking your facial skin in a teasingly and kindly way, your, with the blanket covered, hands found their way to Steve’s chest to get some grip. You clenched your hands slowly into his white shirt what let Steve softly smiling. 

“I- I’m not playing anything. I am tough.” you whispered shaky. Steve chuckled low while he lowered his face another bit closer to you. It was ridiculous, Steve was able to make you completely weak just with a snap. 

“I know, y/n. I know how you are.” Steve breathed and knew that it had a different meaning than you might maybe think. He looked you deep in the eyes as he came slowly but steady closer to meet your sweet lips for the last time on this day and maybe forever. There was again a special kind of tension between you two which was completely new for you because it wasn’t a sexual one. 

You were so close to Steve that you felt his body heat on your skin even through the blanket, his still delicious, masculine scent was clouding your mind. His warm breath was fanning in slow waves over your face and the only thing you could think about was how badly you wanted to kiss him. You would be happy just when you were able to kiss this man and that scared you more and more. As a reaction of this fear, you clenched your hands a little stronger into his shirt.

“Thank you for this incredible night.” Steve whispered against your lips and before you could respond anything, Steve connected his soft lips with yours for another sweet, gentle and breathtakingly kiss which was filled with so much love. 

This was a different kind of thank. Usually, the men wanted more instead of being thankful for what they got from you. But Steve thanked you. 

Because he knew that you didn’t want more with him?  
Was he thanking you because, even if you would let him have you again, Steve didn’t want you again?

All of this was flowing through your mind as Steve kissed you gently and lovely for the last time. 

***

Steve was gone since a few hours but he still drove you crazy with the memories you got of him and the night you had still very present in your mind. You paced up and down in your room like a caged tiger to distract yourself, but it didn’t work how you wanted it. You showered but even after that, you could still feel Steve’s touches of his hands all over your body. You dressed one of your short and sexy wine-red dresses along with some glossy high-heels, but your body still remembered Steve’s lips and how he had treated you. You applied your typical, devilish, but always hot and sexy, make-up, with the red lips and the dark black smoky eyes, you did your hair, but even that wasn’t enough to erase Steve out of your mind or from your body. 

It was frustrating and irrational and you also hated this state, mostly, that you had no idea how you could get out of it or how to get Steve out of your mind. You never remembered the men so long. Sure, you remembered them if they did a good job with satisfying you in an outstanding way, but just for a short time and then, you had forgotten them again. Once again, you looked through your room, but to stay any longer wasn’t helpful, either, because everything in your room reminded you of Steve. Added to that, you were still able to smell his perfect, masculine scent around you. You almost ran out of your room to get as much distance between you and Steve as possible. 

But how should you do that when you were living with this man under the same roof?

As you entered the common kitchen, the whole team was around. Bucky and Sam were playing some video games in the living room. Natasha and Wanda were talking about some books or makeup, or whatever the two liked, you never paid much attention. Tony was in the kitchen for some coffee. You looked quickly through the room and spotted Steve sitting at the huge dining table and working on some files. He didn’t have noticed you what gave you an odd and unknown feeling deep in your stomach. 

Was the feeling there because Steve didn’t have noticed you?  
Or was the feeling there because Steve was just there? In the same room? With you?  
What was this kind of feeling you had as you saw Steve right now? 

“Hey, y/n. Long night? I didn’t have seen your lover of the night sneaking away. What’s wrong?” Tony asked smirking and drew the attention of the whole team to you with this simple and bold question. 

As Steve heard Tony’s voice, how he addressed you and how he asked about your ‘lover of the night’, his blood was freezing in his veins in pure horror, his fingers tightened their grip around the file a little more, his hands became sweaty and he swore he could feel how the blood was draining off his face. Only then, Steve realized that the two of you didn’t have spoken about how you two should handle this night. Steve knew that a few of his team members, maybe even all, knew about his crush on you. And Steve was also sure that some of his friends, maybe even all of them, would think he would be totally insane to get involved with you. They would totally freak out if they would find out that he had slept with you. 

In their eyes, Steve would be just another name on your list of lovers, he would be just another notch on your bedpost and of course, no one would want that for Captain America, America’s golden boy. Steve deserved someone better than a woman who slept with each man she laid her eyes on. And they also didn’t care that Steve was in love with you because this kind of love was ridiculous and had no future. All of that was rushing through Steve’s mind as he just heard how Tony talked to you. 

As you stayed silent, Steve worried even more about your answer. You could say everything in this exact moment because you had him in your hands, but Steve also hoped that he had gotten to know the real you during the last night and that would mean that you wouldn’t mention that you had spent the night with Steve. There was no reason for you to talk about it, because you never talked about your men and what you did with them. That didn’t have to change now just because it was Steve. And even if you would do it, it wouldn’t have a good end for you. So, Steve did the only thing he could do as you stayed still quiet, he turned curious around to look at you and to observe your reaction like all the others of his friends did it. 

From the corner of your eyes, you could see how Steve looked carefully at you as you didn’t answer, but you were smart enough to avoid it to look at Steve in return. If you would do it, Tony or someone else would draw a wrong conclusion. Indeed, it would be exactly the right conclusion but you didn’t want to drag Steve into a kind of mudslinging and you didn’t want to start any rumors about your shared night because you knew you would lose any kind of argument. You also knew how protective Natasha, Tony, Bucky and Sam were when it came to Steve, mostly, when you were around. The last thing you wanted was an argument. The night with Steve was too special to get dragged through the mire caused by some stupid fight that you couldn’t win. 

“Who said I had a man the last night?” you asked with a mixture of innocence and seduction, only you were able to use them at the same time, and you also crossed your arms under your breasts to push them up even more as a distraction action. Of course, Tony looked quickly down because he was a typical man and no man was able to ignore your charms. Mostly, because you knew how to use it. You smirked as you saw how caught Tony looked as he looked back into your eyes. He coughed slightly and tried to act cool but it didn’t work easily. 

“B-because it’s your nature. You always have a man in the night. Wait! Does that mean he is still there? Did you have tied him to your bed this time? I mean, as your own, personal sex slave?” Tony asked playfully shocked and of course, you could see and almost feel Steve’s tension caused by the fear what you could say, but you still refused to look at him and instead, you walked closer to Tony and looked up at him through your long, dark, black lashes. 

“You don’t really want to know that, do you?” you whispered low and you could hear how Tony’s breath faltered. Yes, that was the impact you had on every man and even on some women. Tony shook slowly and shaky his head, he blinked his eyes several times as he felt how your scent clouded his mind and tried to get rid of your spell. You saw how Tony’s pupils became bigger caused by the sexual lust you released inside of him just because of your glance, your smirk and your scent. 

After a few more teasing moments, you stepped slowly back to end this spell and to leave the kitchen again because you had an idea how you could distract yourself. There was one thing that was always working for you and you knew that you needed exactly that.

“Yeah, I thought so, Tony.” you said with your eyes still locked with Tony’s before you turned around to leave and then, you heard how Tony released the breath he had held all the time.

“I hope there won’t be any meetings tomorrow because I will go out tonight.” you said while you were leaving. 

But there was one thing, you had seen while you were leaving, and it made the unknown knot in the pit of your stomach even worse: Steve’s eyes, the glance and his expression. 

As you had left the kitchen, you looked quickly at Steve and for one short moment your eyes connected with each other, but even if the moment was just quick like a second, you saw so much sadness and pain in Steve’s eyes and on his face that it almost broke your heart. 

Back in your room, you thought about what you had seen in Steve’s face and eyes. That was silly and totally ridiculous. Sure, you knew that Steve loved you and had an enormous crush on you, but you also thought that this would be done when Steve would have had a night with you. You knew that feelings weren’t working like a switch but even Steve must know that the two of you had no future together. In the end, you had made a gift to Steve with the night he was allowed to spend with you and now, the two of you, and mostly Steve, had to move on. 

That was exactly what you wanted: moving on, forgetting Steve and erasing the memories of him out of your mind, and to find the next distraction disguised as another man. 

***

Around 11pm, you were ready to leave the Avengers compound and the taxi was already waiting for you. As you left your room, you caught yourself how you hoped no one, and mostly not Steve, would be around but as you reached the stairs, you could hear the different voices from the Avengers. 

You took a deep breath and smoothed for the last time the, not existing, wrinkles from your dress. Why was it possible that you were nervous about something you had done so many times before? Why was your heart nervously beating into your throat just because you would walk down the stairs?

Nevertheless, after another calming breath, you walked slowly down the stairs. Your extremely high, black and glossy high-heels were clicking on every single stair and as you reached the middle of the stair you noticed that every sound, that came from the living room, became silent. As you continued your way down, you saw all eyes glued at you and some of the guys had their mouth open because they were stunned about your appearance. 

“Guys, remember, I go out and have no idea when I will be back.” you said cheeky with a devilish smirk. 

As Steve heard the sound from your high-heels coming from the first floor as you left your room, he tried to focus on what he was doing, but it wasn’t easy. The whole day, Steve was hoping that it was just a joke that you wanted to go out this night. Steve wasn’t sure what he had expected, but to hear that you wanted to go out again, was nothing of the things he had in mind. 

Steve knew that he was a stupid fool to think that you would change something of your behaviour just because you had spent one night with him. Seemingly, for you the night wasn’t special like it was for Steve. As he heard you coming down the stairs, and as he felt the hurting pain in his heart, Steve knew that he had hoped the whole day, somewhere deep inside of him, that he would have had any kind of effect on you, but seemingly, that wasn’t the fact. You were still the same. You still just wanted your fun. You would search for the next man tonight to have fun with. And this man, in this night, wouldn’t be Steve. 

You reached the middle of the stairs and Steve did the one mistake he always tried to prevent, but did it then, nevertheless. He looked at you and was stunned of your beauty and your sexiness. Your black dress was the shortest one Steve had ever seen on your perfect body, it covered barely your ass but it underlined perfectly your extremely long legs which ended in extremely high high-heels. Steve noticed the cut outs of your dress left and right on your rib cages which showed parts of your flawless skin. Steve didn’t dare to look further up because it was already difficult for him, because now, he knew how you looked underneath your clothes and how your skin was tasting and feeling under his lips. 

Steve’s eyes followed you a few steps until you said again that you would go out. Now, it was real that you would go and that was the point where Steve couldn’t handle this anymore and had to look away from you. But you never made it easy for him to break the spell. Even now, where Steve licked over his lips, he imagined to taste your delicious lips on them what caused the muscles in his cheeks firmly to clench caused by the memory, but finally and with much willpower, he was able to look away from you. Just to protect himself. 

You noticed every move of Steve even if you weren’t looking at him directly. You had seen everything, from the look at you, to the lips licking and the jaw clenching until Steve looked away from you with disappointment and sadness written on his handsome face. You screamed internally, because that was the reason why you had hoped you would be alone when you would leave for the night. It didn’t matter how stunned the Avengers guys were looking at you, the fact that Steve looked tormented away from you, was the one thing you wanted to avoid. 

But you had a plan and you wouldn’t back out of it. You had to act after this plan, otherwise, moments like this, now, with Steve, would hurt you more and more, and maybe more than they already hurt inside of you. You didn’t want the pain. You wanted to move on without to feel pain and so, you crossed the entrance hall without a second look back, you were out of the compound and entering the taxi which should take you to your place of happiness to get a clear mind and to find to yourself again. 

****

It was loud.  
It was crowded.  
The light was colorful and fast. Fast like the music which was booming through the loudspeaker. 

It was exactly everything you wanted and needed. 

And all of that meant that you were in your one favorite spot to search for distraction. Your favorite club in the town. The colorful lights drew patterns on your exposed skin, the strobe light let everyone look as if they would move slower than they actually did while they were dancing closely. All the people around you were sweating and were just an erratic mess of bodies against bodies. 

You loved this place. All the young, beautiful people were dancing and had a good time no matter what was usually going on in their lives. And that was what you needed to get a clear mind again and to find back to your own self because, not only that you couldn’t get the night with Steve out of your mind, now, you couldn’t get Steve’s sad eyes and the disappointed expression out of your mind, too. It was all too much for you to handle, so you saw no other option than to go into the club, to pour some drinks down your throat and to pick up some guy to have fun with. Not because you wanted to torment Steve with your behaviour, instead because that was the only way you knew how to deal with your unwanted feelings. 

“Wow, hello. You are a damn hot goddess. You know that, right?” a deep, very raspy male voice said seductively into your ear while you were supporting yourself on the handrail to look down at the celebrating crowd. You took another sip of your Vodka before you turned around to face the unknown man who had approached behind your back.

You were faced by a man who was arrogant smirking, he had a broad frame, had dark hair and dark eyes. The smirk on his lips revealed perfect white teeth and then, because you were you, you leant confident back against the handrail and let your eyes slowly roaming over the appearance of this guy. He looked totally sexy. The stranger wore black well-fitting suit pants and a black suit shirt neatly tugged into the pants. As your eyes were moving upwards, you could see that the first three buttons of his suit shirt were open and revealed not only some impressive parts of his thick, chiseled chest, you also saw an incredible fascinating tribal tattoo spreading over his skin. This sight drew you immediately into the direction of this man and so you stepped forward what let the man’s eyes sparkling with pure lust in the dim light of the club. 

“I know, but thanks. You aren’t too bad, as well. Do you want to dance?” you asked seductively while your index finger stroked slowly up and down along his body. You could feel strong abs underneath your fingertips and you were eager to feel more of this stranger. Even if there was another feeling spreading through your veins, but like earlier the day, you couldn’t sort out what kind of feeling it was and so you did the only thing you could do: you ignored whatever ridiculous feeling that was you were feeling when you were touching another man. 

“Absolutely. But I will be honest to you.” the guy started, gnawed sensual on his lower lip while he looked at you like you did it before with him and then, he let his hands slowly and appreciative sliding up and down along your body sides. As he reached your hips and then your ass, he squeezed it slightly and firmly but his touch wasn’t thrilling how you had hoped it would be.

“I would love to see your sexy, delicious body moving in some other ways than just dancing.” he said further and you grinned, the non-exciting feeling straight out of your mind. Usually, women didn’t like the fact when a man was too eager or too honest that he wanted just sex. But you were different in this point. You loved sex and mostly with hot guys like this stranger in front of you. You didn’t even care how his name was because it didn’t matter. He was just a tool for you to forget Steve, his hands, his lips, his perfect eyes, his perfect body, the sensual, thrilling sex with him…

“Let us start with dancing and then we will see what will happen tonight, cute boy.” you said cheeky with a wink and the guy lowered his head closer down to you to look you deep in the eyes to have your whole attention. 

“Oh, pretty thing, I am far apart of being a ‘cute boy’. I can show you things you had never felt before.” the guy said deeply and you smirked. Mostly, because you knew there wasn’t much that he could show you that would be new for you. Steve was able to let you feel new things and those things were the reason why you were in the club to try to get rid of them. 

And you would get rid of them with this sexy guy with the muscled body and the hungry eyes. 

****

“Steve? Hey, buddy!” Bucky said for the third time but Steve was still not listening. He looked since half an hour at the same page of the book in his lap without to turn a page. 

“Steve!” Sam and Bucky screamed at their friend and they threw a bunch of peanuts at Steve to get his attention. 

“What?” Steve barked back at his friends who were surprised looking at their usually silent and calm friend who was now screaming and angry looking. 

“D-do you want to play with us?” Bucky asked feebly but Steve just stood up from his chair and removed the peanuts from his clothes. 

“No, thanks. I… I will go for a walk.” Steve said, grabbed his jacket and walked straight out of the compound without to wait for any response of his friends. 

Sam and Bucky looked dumbfounded at each other. 

“Well, that was odd.” Bucky said and looked worried after his friend. 

“Yeah…,” Sam started and frowned as he saw Steve leaving the property of the Avengers through one of the big windows, “Do you remember the one time where y/n threw one of her men out of here in the morning and Steve had witnessed it?” Sam asked and looked at Bucky who slumped back into the couch and ran a hand over his face. 

“Oh, yeah. That was horrible. I can remember how I awoke because the man was still out there and crying and begging for y/n’s attention. He was running around the compound and screamed y/n should take him back. But it never happened.” Bucky said and let his head falling on the backrest. 

“Steve had told me how cruel and merciless y/n was as she threw the whining man out of here. He had seen how she had slapped him in his face as he tried to kiss her. Then, y/n had pushed him out and slammed the door shut with a victorious smirk.” Sam said and let himself falling next to Bucky. 

“I am wondering, did y/n know that Steve had seen her?” Bucky asked and Sam looked at him. 

“Nah, I don’t think so. You know her. Y/n would have said something if she would have seen Steve. I am not sure if she is able to keep a secret, generally.” Sam answered and Bucky nodded slowly because he knew you well enough. 

“Yeah, right. I guess y/n would have said something to tease Steve and to mock him and his feelings towards her. It’s a shitty situation that Steve loves her and has to deal with her behaviour. I still don’t get it why he does it, anyway… From all the women, why y/n?” Bucky considered, this time Sam nodded.

“Well, y/n is a very pretty and beautiful woman, don’t forget that.” Sam pointed out. 

“No, I get that point. I mean, you just have to look at her. She is beautiful as hell and dangerous at the same time! But the thing with all the men? I don’t know, man…” Bucky said low and looked questioningly at Sam who was slowly nodding. 

“Yeah, and everytime when Steve had met one of her men, you can clearly see his broken heart in his eyes and how he asked himself why she always chooses those guys instead of him. And that for a whole day. I feel so sorry for Steve. It isn’t fair…” Sam said sad and Bucky nodded approvingly. 

“But since when is love fair? Steve should just forget her. He should get her out of his mind. I don’t think there will ever be a future for the two.” Bucky said serious and that was the point where Sam started to smirk. 

“But instead, I know what has a future: Star Wars: Battlefront!” Sam screamed excited and raised the controller of the PS4 into the air. 

****

Steve had to leave the compound. He had to leave his friends but mostly, he tried to run away from the events of the last night like you had done it as you were going out into your usually club.

He tried everything to distract his mind, to keep it busy to ignore the fact that you were again out there to search for the next man for your list how you always did it. Alone this thought made Steve aware of the fact that he was just a name on your list, too. Steve was another victim of your intoxicating beauty and the splendid sex with you. He was nothing special for you. Not like you were still for him. Now even more than ever before. 

Steve was walking around with his hands deep buried into his jacket and a blank expression on his face but with no real destination, he just wanted to walk around until he had erased all the feelings for you out of his body and out of his mind. 

****

The guy, whose name was still not relevant, enjoyed the sight of your perfect moving body against his. As he first saw you, standing alone in the club, he knew that you were the hottest thing he had ever seen and the only thing he wanted was to get you in his bed. He wanted to fuck you until you would beg for more of him or for his mercy. 

But now, as he saw how you were skillfully moving your slinky body against his, and as he felt how you moved your hips steadily, rhythmically and with the right amount of pressure always against his crotch to tease him, the only thing he wanted was to drag you into the nearest bathroom of this club and to fuck you right there. 

You enjoyed yourself, the music and the hands of the strange man on your body. He was moving them up and down as if he couldn’t get enough from touching you. With his strong hands, he pressed you stronger against his body whenever he could and you pressed your back stronger against his chest to lay your head on his shoulder which caused the stranger to let his hand moving from your throat slowly down over your breasts and to your hip to squeeze it again. 

The music was helping to silent the thoughts about Steve in your mind but the touches of the stranger were bringing them right back with full force because you compared his hands with Steve’s. When the strange man was kissing your neck, you compared his lips with Steve’s. When the strange guy pressed you against his crotch to feel more of the movements of your ass, you caught yourself how you compared the feeling of the bulge in his pants with the impressive one of Steve. 

The strange guy grabbed your hips to turn you around and you started to dance along his crotch while you snaked your arms around his neck, but once again you were frustrated because, nothing the guy did felt right. Nothing you did with the guy felt right and you also didn’t want more of this sexy man. But you weren’t done with trying, yet. Maybe you just needed more time. 

The strange guy placed one of his hands on your neck and forced you almost violently to look at him. That was the kind of roughness you and your body liked the most, but the normal thrill, you loved so much, never fueled your blood. Instead, you felt...bored. 

The guy forced your face further up to meet his with his hand and his fingers roughly tangled into your hair. His other arm was snaking firmly around your waist to press you stronger against him and to keep you in place, exactly where you were. And then, the sexy, hot guy, with the impressive chest tattoo and the strong hands on your skin, pressed his perfect, full lips on yours for a passionately kiss.


	3. Intoxicated

Steve was walking around, in the darkness of the night, for three hours until he noticed that it didn’t have changed one little bit. Of course. He was still loving you, he was still thinking about you and the last night, and he still felt like an enormous fool because of his unanswered feelings. 

Steve entered the compound, and after consulting Friday, he was happy that it was, dark, silent and completely empty because no one was there. Steve was alone, exactly the thing he wanted. The last thing Steve wanted was to get forced by his friends to talk with them. He didn’t want to see or to talk to anybody and so, Steve walked slowly and depressed up the stairs and into his room where he threw himself on his bed in complete darkness and was just staring blankly at the ceiling.

Different kind of pictures were flowing through Steve’s brain but almost every picture showed the same tormenting thing: How you were lying underneath another man. How you were kissing a strange man you had picked up in the club. How he was touching your perfect, soft skin and Steve also visualised how you got fucked by a complete stranger and how he would sink his teeth into your neck because he was too rough. But the worst thing for Steve was that you always enjoyed what the faceless man was doing to you. 

Steve closed his eyes to stop his thoughts but it wasn’t working. Instead, his mind found a new way to torme-

knock knock knock knock knock knock knock knock knock knock knock knock...

Several, seemingly, endless knocks were interrupting Steve’s dark thoughts and pulled him out of his mind but he didn’t move. He wasn’t in the mood to talk with anybody, not with Bucky, not with Sam and mostly not with Tony, or whoever there was on the other side of his door. 

knock knock knock knock knock knock knock knock knock knock knock knock...

The knocking continued merciless what caused Steve to groan frustrated, but after another bunch of annoying knocks, what Steve could hardly ignore anymore, he stood up from his bed and tore open the door to yell at whoever it was and then, he was simply shocked. He looked dumbfounded, with big, huge eyes and an open mouth at the person in the dark hallway. Only some dim light from somewhere out there enlightened the person with the Vodka bottle in their hand while the person was slightly swaying. 

“W-what…?” Steve whispered disbelieving but got interrupted by a hand on his chest which pushed him back into his room while the person kicked the door shut with the foot. 

“You! You and your fucking perfect and handsome face and your also fucking perfect body!” the drunken person slurred, but spoke clear enough that Steve could follow the words. 

“Y/N? Wha-” Steve started as he got his voice back after the first shock to have you in front of him, but you interrupted him once again as you punched with the palm of your hand against Steve’s thick chest. 

“No! No ‘y/n’s’! No ‘what’s?’! Everything was pretty perfect until you happened to me!” you screamed followed by another sip straight out of the bottle of Vodka and another stumbling to the side that Steve feared you would fall to the ground caused by your high-heels compared with your state of drunkenness.

“Come on, give me the bottle, please. You are drunk. You don’t know what you are talking.” Steve said quietly and calm, because he had to be exactly that right now, even when he was confused and had many questions. He stepped forward to grab the bottle from your hand but you snatched your hand away and looked angry up at Steve. 

“Of course, I am fucking drunk, Steve! But I am not that drunk. I know exactly what I say and what I do.” you screamed and Steve was happy that the compound was empty because you would have alarmed everyone in this building with your ear-piercing yelling. Instead to say something, Steve stayed silent and waited for you to finish your outburst against him. He also waited that you would calm down again. At least, he hoped you would do that so he would be able to figure out what was going on.

“God damn it! Why are you always so freaky perfect? Why are you always doing the right thing? Even now, where I am standing drunk in front of you in the middle of the night? I was in this damn club, alright? I met this sexy, hot guy, alright? We were dancing, touching, kissing, alright? But nevertheless, I am standing here, right now. In your damn room, Steve! I am here, instead to be with this fucking guy, right now because I couldn’t get you out of my mind! Because I always compared the guy with you! So, stop being fucking perfect only for one second and take advantage!” you demanded screaming and panting for air and in the next second, Steve closed the gap with one, huge stride and crashed his lips almost violently on yours. The one hand of Steve supported the back of your head with his fingers tangled in your hair to support you while his other arm was snaking firmly around your small back to press you against him. 

You moaned loudly as you felt Steve’s lips crashing on yours. All the air was pressing out of your lungs as Steve deepened the kiss even more after the first seconds. Your tongue found immediately its way into his mouth and Steve greeted your tongue with his own for a hot-tempered, passionately kiss. 

Steve could taste the Vodka on your tongue and in your mouth. With your uneven and erratic breaths, you shoved the alcohol straight into Steve’s mouth but he didn’t care. The only thing Steve cared about was how your arms were strongly wrapping around his neck, how your lips were working fervently against his own and how you pressed your body longingly against him to kill any tiny gap between your bodies. 

It was animally, pure passion and lust between you and Steve. The feeling of Steve’s athletic, strong and muscled body pressing against you gave you the thrill you had searched but missed the whole night. But kissing wasn’t enough, neither for you nor for Steve and even if you were drunk, you knew what you wanted and Steve didn’t stop you. 

Your hands were rushing over Steve’s body, over his tight fitting shirt and in the next second underneath the fabric to touch every single inch of his delicious smooth and soft skin which gave you goosebumps just with touching it. As Steve felt your small, grabby hands on his body, he gave you some more space but cupped your face to kiss you further while you were busy with his body. 

You were hungry as if you didn’t have had sex since months, but it were just twenty-four hours since you had Steve in your bed. The alcohol had fueled your blood and your lust while you were thinking about the events with Steve as you were on your way back to the compound, but the intoxication you felt with the alcohol in your organism was nothing compared to the intoxication and thrill you felt caused by the memories of Steve. To have Steve now in your hands was everything you had missed. 

You stepped back because Steve gave you space, but his lips held you still captive and you wouldn’t change that for one second. You used the space wisely as your hands found their way to Steve’s belt to open it hurriedly and greedy. 

As both, jeans and belt were open, you pushed them down and Steve opened your dress. The gentle and slow moves from the other night got replaced by fast but accurate moves and within one second, your black dress landed on the floor and you stepped out while Steve removed his own clothes. 

The last thing that fell to the ground was Steve’s shirt and then, he watched with dark gleaming eyes how you were lasciviously lolling in the middle of his bed. You were completely naked, only your black, glossy high-heels with the several, lavish straps around your ankles were still on your feet and Steve wouldn’t dare to remove them. Your skin was glowing in the darkness of his room, your arms were spread out above your head and draped over Steve’s pillow. One of your long legs was propped up and rubbing against your other leg while you were slowly and sexy moving. With a devilish smirk on your lips, you let your eyes roaming over Steve’s thick and upright standing cock, further over his chiseled abs and then, you held the eye contact with him while he was watching you. 

Steve’s mouth was watering by the sight of you, his heartbeat quickened and his already hard erection was throbbing for attention as he saw the glance of your eyes on his body. In one swift move, Steve walked over to you, let his hands appreciative sliding over your shoes and legs, crawled on top of you, pinned your wrists with his strong hands and watched excited your face while he was merciless pushing his cock between your wet folds deep inside of you. 

You gasped breathlessly as Steve was painfully deep inside of you. He reached the deepest point of you with ease and watched smirking how your eyes rolled back in your head, how your mouth gaped open to scream breathless and he also noticed that you were squirming underneath him to free yourself out of his iron grip around your wrists. 

As you thought you had adjusted yourself to the feeling of Steve filling you completely up, Steve lowered himself to catch your lips with his own and started to roll his hips against yours to work with his cock in you. The muffled sound of your sensual moaning fueled Steve’s blood more and more and after a few more thrusts, Steve let go of your wrists to stroke along your sides with his hands and you took the opportunity to claw your nails into Steve’s back. 

You slung your legs around Steve’s waist to increase the already freaky friction even more and Steve’s hands were moving to your ass to squeeze it while he was biting your neck. Your head fell back as you felt Steve’s teeth digging into the soft skin under your ear while you were digging your hands into his soft, blonde strands. 

Steve loved the sound of your erratic, uneven breath when he was pumping his cock into you. He loved the feeling of your nails scratching his scalp and your fingers digging in his hair. He loved the feeling of your dripping wet walls around his thick member. And Steve also loved to hear that you were already screaming his name caused by the pure lust you felt through him. 

No matter how hot and intense the sex was the other night, it was nothing compared to the hotness that was now ruling Steve’s room. Never in your life, you had thought that Steve could act so passionately and possessive. He was still careful and took care not to hurt you because of his strength, but at the same time, Steve was rougher with you as he grabbed your hair and bent your head to the side to have more access to your throat. 

Steve felt your hips moving against his to get his cock deeper inside of you and he loved the fact that he had the complete control over you and your body. He could do whatever he wanted with you like in the one night, but this time, he wanted to show you that he was indeed able to be rough. 

“Steve… let me turn around.. please.” you begged breathless and without an answer, Steve pulled his cock out of you and turned you around how you wanted it. The short break gave you the chance to catch your breath but your wet core was already longing for more and you also felt empty without Steve in you. 

The moment, where you were in the move to look at Steve because he needed too long, he smacked one of your ass cheeks, kneaded the other one before he hovered again over you, but this time, over your back. Steve guided his cock to your ass and then to your waiting core but instead to enter you again, he teased you just with the tip of his cock. 

You groaned about the teasing but in this position, Steve was out of your reach and so, he completely enjoyed that you were impatiently waiting for him and his cock. 

“What do you want?” Steve whispered very low and raspy into your ear while he grabbed a fistful of your hair to pull your head carefully back. You weren’t able to answer because Steve digged his cock a little bit between your folds into your cunt and you hoped he would do more, you gnawed on your lower lip in hope Steve would fuck you again, but instead, Steve pulled himself again out of you and you groaned frustrated. 

“Y/N, I have asked you something. Please, doll, answer the question or I see myself forced to stop my actions completely.” Steve breathed husky and brushed your ear with his lips what caused goosebumps all over your body. You could also hear that Steve’s usually smooth voice was filled with pure sexual hunger. The demanding undertone in Steve’s voice turned you on even more. 

“What do you want, y/n?” Steve repeated his question breathless and waited for your answer. You moaned as you felt how Steve’s manhood was stroking your skin, once again.

“I want you, Steve. God damn it! I want you to fuck me!” you demanded but Steve could hear a begging undertone what let him smirking victoriously because he heard how badly you wanted him. 

“Everything you want, y/n.” Steve whispered with his hot breath fanning over your naked skin of your shoulders before he pushed his cock deep into your core. Once again, you gasped for air by the feeling of Steve thick, long cock. You arched your back up to meet Steve’s strong chest as he fucked you slowly but determining. Steve liked this new view of you, how you were jerking as he buried himself in you and how you moved your body to be able to feel him and his body somehow. 

You propped yourself up on your forearms, gnawed on your lower lip and let your head hanging between your shoulders to enjoy the incredible feeling of this new angle. Steve saw your pleasure filled face and stroked your hair out of the way to have access to your throat to kiss and to bite you while he slammed his hips rhythmically against your ass to fuck you.

“Fuck, Steve...“ you moaned as you felt how Steve’s hand was rubbing small, delicately circles on your clit to intensify the friction and the pleasure for you even more. As you felt the familiar knot building deep inside your body, you clawed your fingers into the sheets. Steve could sense that you were close and the only thing he wanted was to shoot you over the edge. 

“Come for me, y/n.” Steve breathed deeply and that was enough for the knot of feelings in your body to explode. Electricity was flooding your veins. Sparks of sexual tension were kindling every single cell of your body and the only thing you could do, to give those feelings space, was to scream Steve’s name until you were breathless. 

Steve thrusted further into you because the feeling of you coming around his cock fueled his own desire for you once again. Steve gave you the space to catch your breath, but you were eager to get Steve over the edge, too, and so, you twisted your upper body to meet Steve’s lips which were crushing on yours again while Steve embraced you with one arm to keep you close against himself. 

“Fuck me until you come. I want to feel you coming in me, Captain.” you breathed against Steve’s lips what let him moaning with lust. Steve thrusted stronger into you, he let his head falling on your shoulder and supported himself with his arms left and right from your body to keep his weight away from you. After another bunch of thrusts, Steve shuddered against your back and moaned your name, but the most arousing thing for you was the feeling of Steve’s hot juice shooting along your folds and deep into you. Steve released himself and bit carefully in your shoulder while he rode out his orgasm.

The only sound in Steve’s room was the heavy breathing as the two of you tried to catch your breath. After a few moments, Steve turned his head to look at you and smiled fondly as he saw that you were slowly falling asleep. Steve grabbed his blanket and covered you and himself before he snaked his arm underneath your head as a pillow, then he closed his eyes with a huge, lovely smile on his lips and drifted into a peaceful sleep. 

****

You awoke the next morning slightly hungover but you remembered everything that had happened the last night. And to your surprise, you regretted not one second. Not even the things you had said to Steve, because they were all true. You opened your eyes slowly and the first thing you saw was Steve peacefully sleeping next to you. You watched his thick, naked chest slowly raising and lowering, his breath was even and calming. His hair was tousled in a cute way and was golden sparkling in the morning sun. Once again, you had to admit that he looked incredibly handsome. Steve was the most handsome man you had ever seen and this fact fueled the desire inside of you to touch this sleeping man.

You stroked softly, with a feather-light touch of your fingertips over his cheek but before Steve could awake, you drew your hand back again. You rolled on your other side to leave Steve’s bed silently but a strong, warm hand lying on your ribcage stopped and startled you at the same time that you were squeaking in surprise. Your hand snapped over your mouth but the unfamiliar sound had already left your throat and Steve chuckled about it. 

“Sorry. I didn’t mean to frighten you. But where do you want to go, y/n?” Steve asked low and with a, from sleep, husky voice with a slight smile on his lips which let your heart beating faster because it was simply stunning. You sighed, looked quickly away to collect your thoughts and looked back at Steve who was patiently waiting for you. 

“I didn’t mean to wake you, sorry.” you whispered and Steve smiled sweetly while he draped his strong arm over you to pull you back closer into his arms. 

“Nah, it’s okay. But don’t go. Please, stay.” Steve whispered low and slowly because he feared he went too far with his request. With his fingertips, he brushed slowly over your back while he let his eyes roaming over your face. 

“Why do you want me to stay, Steve?” you asked whispering with an insecure voice. You also looked away to avoid his love filled glance. 

“You know why, y/n.” Steve said low and placed his index finger underneath your chin to force you to look at him. 

“Because I-” Steve started but you slammed the palm of your hand over his mouth to prevent the words from leaving his lips. 

“Don’t..don’t say it.” you whispered low and shaky but Steve shoved your hand carefully away and placed his own hand then on your cheek to stroke you gently with his thumb. 

“Because, I love you, y/n.” Steve whispered finally and finished his former sentence. There were the words you feared the most to hear. You closed your eyes almost violently and tormented while you sighed. With closed eyes, you leant with your forehead against Steve’s supportive, strong chest. You inhaled his perfect masculine scent deeply while Steve tickled softly your head and raked with his fingers through your soft hair to comfort you. 

“But why? I don’t get it. Why are you loving me, Steve? I am not a lovable person. You know me, you know who I am. Hell, I am also not able to love someone. I never deserve your love. You are far too good for me. You deserve someone better than me. Why can’t you just stop loving me to search for a woman who is matching to you?” you whispered desperate against his skin and Steve listened carefully. He listened very carefully to your whispered begging and pleading.

After all the time Steve knew you now, he had never heard you talking in such a vulnerable way. Steve’s heart was hurting as he heard how you were talking about yourself. This time, Steve didn’t have forced you to look at him, instead he buried his nose into your tousled hair and tried to calm you as he brought you closer to him to comfort and to protect you even more. As you felt Steve’s arms embracing you stronger, you snuggled yourself even deeper against him with your hands lying on his chest and stomach. Steve felt relieved and happy that you let him do, instead to run away from him. Seemingly, for the first time, you weren’t running away from something. 

All the time, everyone in the compound thought you were heartless and stone cold, Steve knew that the others thought you wouldn’t have feelings, that you would have just fun to play with men and everyone else around you like a cat who played with a mouse before she ate it. Because all of that was exactly what you had built as your reputation. But all the men in your life, all the nights with meaningless one-night stands, your whole behaviour, were seemingly just protective measures to keep yourself safe from something. You tried to protect yourself from getting hurt caused by someone by keeping everyone at distance. 

Steve had no idea what caused you to act like ... that. No one knew something about your past and what you had experienced before you got forced to join the Avengers. You never talked about any personal things and now, Steve realized that no one really had asked you about your former life. One day, you were a member of the Avengers, you started with your extreme behaviour and everyone thought you did it because it was normal for you and because you had fun to provoke the others of your team. 

But what if you were just hiding yourself, your real you, so no one would see how vulnerable you were in fact?

Now, you were lying in Steve’s arms, you snuggled willingly against him because Steve could feel that you made no move to leave him. Surprisingly, not even then, as Steve said he loved you. Something had changed but he was smart enough not to question your actions. He knew that the first night with you was just your typical game, your way to make a man addicted to you, to play with him and to look how much Steve would want you after this night. And, sure, it worked perfectly with Steve because he had agreed to you and what you had to offer. In the end, you had what you wanted, Steve wanted you more than ever before even when he knew that he couldn’t have you how he wanted the most. 

And then, you stood in front of him, in his room, in the middle of the night and said you couldn’t get him out of your mind. You screamed at him and blamed him for his apparently perfection. Even now, you were still by his side just because he had asked you to stay. All of that reminded Steve that he had to choose his next words wisely if he wanted to try to have a future with you. He was now in the situation where he could take his chance to be closer to you. He was already ready to fight for this possibility, even if that would mean for him that he maybe had to act against his righteous nature. 

After a few minutes of silence, Steve knew exactly what he wanted to do. 

“I don't see you like that, y/n.” Steve whispered calm and lovely into your hair and you looked slowly up into his eyes while Steve brushed once again your hair aside to have a clear view at your beautiful but with doubts filled face. 

“But why?” you asked and Steve could hear the doubts resonating in your soft voice. 

“Maybe I am just able to look behind your tough facade.” Steve pointed out with a shy smile. For a short moment, Steve was sure he saw in your sparkling eyes that you believed him and his words, but then, it was gone whatever Steve had seen and you shook your head slowly before you looked away again. 

“Steve, please, just … let that go. You... You can't save everyone and mostly not me.” you whispered and Steve heard the sadness in your voice what broke his heart once again. 

“I don't think that I have to save you. You aren't lost, y/n.” Steve whispered and smiled softly as you looked at him with an undefined expression. You stayed silent. You had no idea what you should say or think because all of that. You were confused about yourself because you were still with Steve. Instead to leave him, you were staying. You were lying still in his protective arms and you listened to his words and his love confession instead to run away just because he had asked you to stay. 

“But I … I can show you how I see you.” Steve said further and lowered himself closer to you. He knew it was risky but he had a plan, already. 

“Why taking the trouble?” you whispered but your voice broke as you saw the glance in Steve’s clear blue eyes. 

“Because you are worth to be loved.” 

And with that said, Steve kissed you softly and rolled you on your back with himself on top of your small body so he was pinning you and protected you as well. He also could prevent you from running away. Steve’s kiss was lovely and tenderly, more gently than all the kisses before you got from him. His perfect lips were slowly working against yours and you had to move with him. Steve stole your breath with his slowly lips and let your heart beating faster. He waited teasingly long before he brushed his tongue over your lips and waited even longer to meet your tongue with his. 

During these slow kisses, your hands were sliding slowly and appreciative along Steve’s thick arms to his shoulders and further to his shoulderblades. But you didn’t do more because this wasn’t a kiss which should lead to sex even if it already fueled your blood with desire. With those kisses, Steve wanted to show you his affection for you and you let him do because it was different than everything you had experienced before. 

The taste of Steve in your mouth and on your tongue caused you to moan very low because Steve drove you absolutely crazy with simply everything. Steve could be the first man in your life who would be able to drive you insane with this type of kindness. With his kindness and his love to you. Of course, you believed what Steve had told you, but that didn’t mean that you were totally convinced. 

Steve left your lips after a few minutes and leant his forehead against yours while he was already heavy breathing. After all, it flattered you to know what kind of effect you had on this man even just with kissing. But Steve had the same effect on you and it was addicting. You always wanted more of him, but nevertheless, you couldn’t admit that to yourself. Steve’s soft voice distracted you and let you focus on him again. 

“Y/N, please give me a chance to love you.” Steve whispered but you were sure you could hear a little amount of fear in his deep voice because he didn’t know how you would react caused by his request. You took a deep breath and laid your hands on his chest to stroke him softly while your thoughts were running a mile per second. Your first intention was to run, but you stayed. 

“I- I don’t know, Steve… I… I am not sure if I can ever love you how you want it or how you deserve it...” you said honest and gnawed on your lower lip. Steve’s hand found its favorite place on your cheek and this time, you leant into his calming touch and connected your eyes with his. 

“I don’t care. That doesn’t matter for me.” Steve answered but you were still unsure about the whole idea. You were never lucky with love, that was the reason why you prefered one-night stands. You never allowed yourself to build a bond to someone, so no one was able to hurt you. And then came Steve… 

“I am serious, Steve. Why wasting your time with someone who doesn’t know what love is, or how to love someone else?” you tried it again. You didn’t mean to hurt Steve, not more than necessary, you also didn’t want to push him away because you knew you already needed him, what scared you. But you also saw no future. There was no real future for the two of you. You didn’t saw a way to change yourself. The whole love thing was too long out of your life. 

“I can show you ways if you want. I would help you.” Steve said softly with a shy smile. Hope was sparkling in his eyes because you still didn’t have said no, and it made everything just more difficult for you because you had no idea what you should do. Your normal confidence was gone and so, pure confusion was left in your whole body. 

“I- I… what’s with the others? They will kill me if they find that out with us. You know how protective they are when it comes to you.” you pointed out but you knew that you already ran out of real arguments. 

“They don’t have to know it.” Steve said serious and you looked surprised with raised eyebrows. 

“Y-you want to lie to them? To your friends? Captain America wants to lie? Because of me?” you asked shocked with a dumbfounded expression what caused Steve to chuckle. He trembled you with his laughing what caused you to be even more confused. 

“Well, I wouldn’t call it ‘lying’. They are my friends, not my parents. They don’t have to know everything about my life.” Steve said as he stopped slowly to chuckle. Pure hope was bubbling in his blood because he realized that you really considered what Steve was asking.

“Steve, I .. I still don’t know.” you answered honest and looked away but Steve wouldn’t give up so easily. Not yet, where he had the opportunity to fight for you. You still didn’t have said no, so Steve would try it further. 

“Y/N, look at me, please.” Steve said softly and in the next second you looked again at him which caused Steve to smile. 

“Listen, you don’t have to fear anything. You wouldn’t be my girlfriend. You are not obliged to do something in return for me. You have still your freedom to do what you want with whom you want. I am just asking for a chance to love you, to show you my love for you. In case there is something you don’t want anymore, no matter what it is, say it and I will go and this, between us, is over. I promise, I won’t argue with you when you don’t want me anymore. I won’t beg you to stay.” Steve said serious because he meant every single word. 

You were shocked, surprised and a little bit overwhelmed. And you looked with exactly all of this written on your face at Steve who observed your reaction. It impressed you that Steve suggested all of that. He would give you everything and didn’t expect something in return from you. The only thing you had to do was to let Steve show you his love. He also promised you your freedom to do what you wanted to do. Even this let your heart swelling but your brain already screamed ‘no’ at you, like always. After a few moments where you stayed silent, Steve had the urgent desire to say more to calm you again. 

“You don’t have to decide it now. You can take as much time as you want to consider if you want that or not.” Steve said softly and you nodded. 

You knew Steve would wait for you and your answer. You weren’t sure if that was good or not, but he would do it, nevertheless. Now, you had to consider what you wanted. 

****

Since you had left Steve’s room, you were confused and considered what you should do. The most easiest way would be to say no to Steve, to break his heart so he would be able to move on after a while. But the second, you had the idea to break Steve’s heart, as you visualized Steve’s sad eyes, your breath faltered, your heartbeat became erratic and you panicked. 

Steve was too nice, he was too friendly and too kindly to be treated like that. He never deserved to be treated like your other lovers. The other men were never important to you. You never cared about their feelings, and usually, you didn’t care about your own feelings. 

But Steve was so different in so many ways. He was the best sex you ever had. He was the nicest man you ever had. He cared about you and he loved you although he had met so many men from you and although he knew who you were. 

For the hundredth time on this day, you sat on your bed and considered what you should do. No decision was ever so difficult to make than this one. You had to decide what you wanted to do or what would be the best for Steve. For the hundredth time on this day, your brain was screaming it usual song at you: 

Hurt him!  
Make him leave!   
Destroy his love for you because there is no future!  
Steve Rogers deserves more than something like you!   
You are never able to love someone and you know that!  
You will destroy everyone who is around you for too long!

But then happened something, you never considered as possible again: your heart was speaking. It was a silent sound compared to the loud screaming of your merciless brain. More like a delicate sonnet instead of loud barking. It was soft and more like a whisper. It was a soft voice which was usually not able to fight against the loud voice of your aggressive and ruling brain.

But three, soft spoken words were able to fight against a cruel storm so you were able to hear them, even then, when they were just like a whisper. The voice of your heart fought through the fog that clouded your feelings and so, you could focus on the words. 

You need Steve

As you heard these words, you jumped up from your bed to run over to your door and out of your room. You knew what you wanted and you knew where you would find it. 

You reached Steve’s room and stopped. Not because you feared to go inside but you considered to knock or not. Probably, Steve would be already asleep. It was again in the middle of the night when you would enter Steve’s room the second time in one week, but then, you didn’t care. This was important and you were more than sure, Steve would understand it. 

You opened slowly Steve’s door to avoid any kind of sound, and you were right, Steve was already peacefully asleep. The blanket was half draped over his bare upper body. One leg was tangled with the blanket while he was lying on his back. You had no idea how he made it, but he looked again totally adorable and handsome. You didn’t have seen Steve just for a few hours, but nevertheless, your heart was racing as if you would be a little school girl. And for one second, you considered to turn around to let him sleep but on the other hand, you knew how happy Steve would be when he would find you in his bed. 

So, you did exactly that. You walked silently on your tiptoes over to Steve’s bed, your silk gown slid slowly along your body to the ground as you undressed it before you lifted the blanket up to crawl underneath it, dressed in panties and a tank top instead to be naked. You crawled slowly to Steve and snuggled against his ribcage with your arm draped over Steve’s naked stomach and your head resting on his chest.

But no matter how carefully you were with your moves, Steve awoke by the unknown movement next to him and looked with sleepy eyes surprised down at you. You looked up into his perfect blue eyes with a soft smile on your lips and this time, you placed your hand on his cheeks how Steve always did it to show that you were really there. 

“I can’t promise you anything, Steve. But let us try it.” you whispered low and still smiling and in the next second, Steve pressed his lips on yours for a lovely kiss. The surprise of the kiss pressed the air out of your lungs and you clawed your nails into Steve’s skin, but the only thing you really noticed was the pure happiness through Steve’s lips. 

“Thank you.” Steve whispered as he left your lips to lean his forehead against yours. While your fingers were raking through his soft hair, you chuckled low by the sight of Steve’s happy, huge smile on his lips. Nothing in this world had made you ever happier than this smile of this huge, broad but lovely man. 

“D-do you stay with me, tonight? Please?” Steve whispered insecure and looked pleadingly at you. This super soldier was able to look like a cute puppy and there was no way you could say no to him. 

“Yes.” you answered with a nod. Steve’s smile became bigger on his lips, if that was even possible, before he placed one of his arms underneath your head and pulled you close against his body with his other arm while he embraced you strongly and buried his nose in your hair. You snuggled against Steve, you were already completely embraced by Steve’s body what felt totally cozy, warm and secure. Before you drifted into sleep, you thought about the meaning of your actions, that was the bravest thing you had done since a very long time, but for the first time, you didn’t fear anything. For the first time, your brain shut up and all doubts were silent. 

****

Week after week passed and the thing between you and Steve became, slowly but surely, more and more intimate. The two of you always searched for ways to meet with each other, no matter when or where, because the desire and the hunger were too strong for both of you to get ignored. 

Steve drove you totally crazy with everything in the most perfect way you had ever experienced. He was gentle with you but he could also be wild. You could give him the control over your body and he gave you the control over his own. You showed him new sexual positions and stuff you liked, and Steve learned very fast to use all of it. He always let you feel like the most precious thing on earth. Steve was indeed able that you felt loved by him. 

You knew you had the freedom to meet whom you wanted but instead, you just wanted Steve. You met no one else beside him, because you missed nothing and no other man was able to let you feel things like Steve did. After a few weeks, you were utterly addicted to this nice, kindly and gentle man. 

Without to know it, you never noticed when exactly it happened, you had bound yourself to Steve and you were perfectly fine with it. You weren’t able to talk about your feelings and Steve never pushed you. He just enjoyed the possibility you gave him to be with you. Steve was glad and thankful about every hour and every day he could spend with you. And to your own surprise, you were happy to be able to spend your nights with Steve, sleeping in his bed, his arms wrapped around you and cuddling against him. With or without sex. 

At the beginning, you were insecure because the only thing you knew well was to have sex. And the two of you had much sex. Perfect, unique and addictive sex, but like Steve had promised, he showed you his love and after a while it made much fun to see what kind of ideas Steve would find to express his love. You appreciated all his ways. 

It started innocent with flowers, almost daily. The first time, a flower bouquet got delivered in the compound, you were surprised but ignored them, until Natasha mentioned a card which came with the flowers. Your name was written on the card. The flowers were definitely for you but they were anonymous sent. But no matter how often the Avengers asked you, you never said from whom those flower were. It was enough for you to know who sent you roses, lilies, tulips and so many more. 

That was just one way Steve used to express his love. He was also able to convince you to go out with him. Steve needed a little time to persuade you but after a while, you agreed. The two of you were going into restaurants, in the cinema, dancing or just walking around in the park. But everything happened in your speed and Steve never expected that you would say yes to his suggestions. So, for Steve, every single yes from you was a little victory for him and made him more and more confident. 

There were so many things on you, Steve never had noticed before. The way your eyes were sparkling when new flowers were arriving and how you were sniffing at them with a beautiful smile on your lips. Or the way how you smiled when the two of you were walking around in a little park and you watched some birds or squirrels jumping around. In those moments, Steve fall in love with you, all over again and was thankful that you trusted him enough to show him this side of you. 

Everything happened in front of the eyes of Steve’s friends and teammates but neither of them noticed something, or said something. The times, when Steve and you were going out, you left the compound with your typical declaration that you would go out and no one had to wait for you, just to get followed by Steve who said he would go out for a walk. 

Sure the friends became suspicious that Steve always left the compound when you were going into your club, but Bucky and Sam were both sure it was just because of Steve’s unhealthy and unrequited love to you. Neither of them wanted to ask Steve because they didn’t want to make it more worse for their friend than it already must be. 

But for Steve and you, it became something like a game. Neither of you lied to the others in the compound, the two of you just never said the whole truth. After a while, it was fun to sneak around and to find places to make out. You were the first who had the idea, of course, because Steve was still a little too nice and too sincere to start with that. But after some time, even Steve had fun to make out in a hallway, while Sam and Bucky were playing video games in the living room next to the hallway. One time, Steve was passing one of the many storage rooms of the compound and you pulled him inside of it to make out which led to hot, passionate sex. It was thrilling for the two of you because you always could get caught of the others. 

But the most perfect thing, the one thing, Steve loved the most, were the times when the two of you had the compound for yourself. The rare times, when no one was in the compound except you and Steve. Those times were special because then, you changed completely into the person Steve was already able to get to know and you also changed your usual dress code into something Steve never had thought could ever happen. Steve loved your sexy dresses and high-heels, all your snug skirts and tops because you looked in everything simply stunning and breathtaking. 

Beside to see you in your sexy clothes, of course, Steve loved it to see you naked, mostly in his bed, in his arms or even in the shower. But then, one day, you did something that surprised Steve more than everything else before. Steve wanted to make breakfast for the two of you and you followed him into the kitchen, but instead to wear your silk gown or something else from your other sexy nightwear, you dressed one of Steve’s huge t-shirts. 

Yes, those days were the most favorite days for Steve because you always stole his clothes as if you had never done something different in your life than that. It made Steve proud to know that you always wanted him around you. You were relaxed around him, you trusted him. That was the point where Steve knew that it didn’t matter if you would ever say ‘I love you’ to him or not, it didn’t matter if you felt the same like Steve, because that, what he got from you, what he experienced with you, was more important to him than three words. 

And then happened something, Steve hoped would never happen…


	4. Lovesick

Another perfect day and even more perfect morning with Steve was over as the other Avengers entered the compound and you were back in your room to change from Steve’s huge, cozy and warm hoodie into something of your typical clothes to be ‘normal’ again. You felt light-hearted, happy and relaxed. States, only Steve was able to give you. Everytime, when you were together with Steve, you were able to forget everything that wasn’t important. You could forget your past, your strange life and all the things that were wrong with you, because Steve never saw something wrong on you. 

After the initially insecurity, you opened up to Steve. You were able to get involved with Steve because it was easy to trust him and after the first times where you were uncertain because many different things, you started to see more in Steve than just another man on your sex list. Steve told you that he loved you, he showed it to you and he let you feel it. 

Steve was stirring of interest in you and everything you liked. He asked you so many questions, you never thought someone could ask another person. He also asked you about your past and why you thought you wouldn’t be able to love but as he noticed how you panicked, Steve stopped the conversation immediately, pulled you into his arms, pressed you against him to comfort you and didn’t ask the question again. He respected your boundaries and was able to wait if you would be ready to talk about it or not. Steve Rogers respected you and loved you the way you were. 

Now, after all the perfect months with Steve, you weren’t just addicted to him and the sex you two shared. You were in love with him. Slowly but surely happened that what you thought could never happen to you. You were falling for Steve Rogers, probably the nicest guy of America. As you realized it, you stopped in the middle of your room and stared blankly ahead. 

“I.. I-I love Steve…” you whispered shaky and you got weak in the knees. As you heard the words falling from your lips, you knew they were true. There was no other explanation for the feelings you felt when you were with Steve. But now, you had to act after this new awareness of your feelings. Poorly, there was someone who had always the best timing.

“Miss Y/L/N, Mister Stark requests your attendance in the conference room.” Friday said and almost startled you with her loud voice. You huffed annoyed out and pinched the bridge of your nose to calm you, after you said you would be there. 

“Sure, Stark wants to see me. I have an important breakthrough with my feelings and of course, Tony has one of his wannabe big problem.” you mumbled agitated while you left your room to join the others in the conference room. 

****

“Wow, I never thought this could ever happen, but you are right on time, y/n.” Tony said truly surprised as you entered the conference room and walked along the huge, long conference table to a free chair. 

Steve noticed your entering but he didn’t look at you. Steve wasn’t looking at you for the first time since you had arrived in the compound. The fact that Steve wasn’t looking at you let you panicking like nothing else before in your life. That was far away from normal and it freaked you completely out. Fear was creeping up your whole body and too many questions were rushing through your mind:

What happened?  
Why wasn’t Steve looking at you?  
What the hell was fucking wrong?  
What was going on right now?

While you were walking over to a chair next to Natasha, you took a few deep breaths to calm yourself. You had to hide your thoughts and feelings, you must storage them somewhere deep and for that, you put your typical cheekiness back on your face. 

“Yeah, seemingly, today is my nice day. Don’t get used to it, Stark.” you said snarky and everyone was chuckling. Everyone except Steve, who was still rooted to the spot at a window, leaning with his shoulder against it and with his arms crossed over his chest. His eyes were glued at the ground and his expression undefined. Steve’s whole face was a cold, emotionless mask and you never had seen him like that. 

As you sat down, and finally looked away from Steve, you had looked at him just for a short moment, you noticed that everyone was around and Tony stood, with his hands placed on the surface of the conference table, at the head end of the table and looked at each one of you. 

“So, what’s the matter, big boss?” you asked bold and crossed your arms over your chest while you leant back in your chair and crossed your legs over your knees. From the corner of your eyes, you had Steve still in view but he still avoided you. His whole demeanor and body language was serious and the only thing you wanted was to ask what was going on but Tony caught your attention once again.

“We have found Victor Johnson.” Tony said serious and watched the reaction of all of you. It was dead silent. The whole conference room was silent and nearly everyone sucked in a breath by the mention of this name. Everyone except Steve. 

“Victor Johnson? The weapon tycoon who shall be the number one supporter of Hydra?” Sam asked immediately with a certain amount of surprise vibrating in his deep voice. You looked from Sam, quickly to Steve to observe his reaction but there wasn’t one. Steve looked still at the ground, the only thing you could notice were the twitching muscles in his jaw. The whole Johnson case was a big deal. The Avengers were searching for him long before you had attend the team. You had to use your connections to search for him too but he was like a ghost. Mostly, because actually, he was just a name. Everyone knew him but no one had ever seen him. Seemingly, that had changed now. 

“Yes, exactly. We found him near New York. Seemingly, he owns a huge mansion but we are more than sure that this is just a facade.” Tony said further but the generally tension was clearly to be sensing in the whole room. It was sliceable with a knife.

“What’s the plan?” Bucky asked excited with a low voice. You weren’t surprised that Bucky reacted like that, you knew about his personal past with Hydra but you were surprised about Steve’s reaction. From all the people in the room, Steve was the one who had worked almost day and night to find Johnson, so as you heard Steve snorting as a response to Bucky’s question, you were even more confused. The fact that Steve was still silent, wasn’t helpful either. 

“We have the information that Johnson wants to leave the states, soon. But there is already a plan.” Tony said serious and tried to say it calm but you could hear the excitement in his voice. You were curious because you had never seen all of your team members like that: excited like kids at Christmas Eve. Everyone, except Steve, who still stood there at the window with his thick arms crossed over his chest. To see Steve silent and motionless like that made you nervous as hell. 

“Tell us about the plan.” Natasha said and let her fingers drumming on the tables surface. Everyone around you was in high alert because almost everyone had a certain connection to Hydra. Everyone, except you. 

“Alright. The plan is relatively simple. Victor Johnson will attend on a gala in Manhattan, tomorrow night and this will be our chance to get as close as possible to him and to get into his mansion to bug it.” Tony said slowly. 

“How?” Wanda asked and now, you were curious, too, because you could imagine what Tony’s plan was. You had a certain idea in your mind because you knew how Tony was thinking. And it must be Tony’s plan, you could see it in the way Tony was smirking. Tony took a deep breath because he felt really smart right now, but you were always good to tease his ego and now, you would do it again because it was just too much fun. 

“I am your plan, Tony, right?” you asked calm and were just focused on the billionaire whose face fell in pure disappointment because you had destroyed the surprise to explain his precious plan. 

“Yes, y/n. You are the plan.” Tony said and huffed annoyed out while he ran a hand over his face. You could see, once again, how regret was building in his eyes that he had affiliated you into the Avengers team. But as Tony affirmed your assumption, it was the first time that you noticed how Steve was moving. Just for a quick second, he was looking at you through his long lashes, but you had noticed it from the corner of your eyes. And now, you knew what was wrong. 

“Alright, Tony. Tell me about it.” you said slowly and listened Tony’s explanation. 

“We need your… ‘skills’. You know what I mean. You will attend tomorrow on the same gala to get close to Johnson. I won’t tell you how close you should get to him, that’s your own decision, but in the end, you have to bug the mansion somehow. Not Johnson, the mansion is important, y/n.” Tony said and you nodded slowly because you were just listening before you made a decision, but now, you knew with certainty what was going on in Steve’s mind. 

You weren’t surprised that every single cell was hurting in your body as you heard Tony’s plan and your ‘skills’ would be needed, but you dissembled everything. It was silent in the conference room because everyone knew what Tony had suggested with this plan: seduce Johnson to get into his mansion. You could imagine what everyone was thinking: You were used to seduce men, so why not using your ‘skill’ for something really important?

You were about to answer but to your surprise, Steve was the one who said something for the first time since the meeting had started. His voice was low, threatening and disconcerting. If you wouldn’t be really concerned about Steve, you were certainly aroused by Steve’s voice. 

“Tony, that is not a good plan.” Steve said and all eyes were glued at him. All eyes, except yours. Your eyes fluttered shut and you pressed your jaws together until it started to hurt. It was tormenting to hear Steve’s voice like that. He spoke almost painfully and you knew exactly what he was thinking. 

“Steve, the plan is perfect. No one of us can do it because Hydra knows all of us. And if Hydra know us, Johnson could know us, too. But they don’t know y/n-” Tony pointed out but Steve wasn’t done with fighting for you. 

“There has to be another way-” Steve tried it again but his voice was already too painfully for you and so you had made a decision, even if it was hurting for you, too. In the end, there was really no better way and you knew it. You were sure that Steve saw it too but he wasn’t ready to see it, yet. 

“I will do it.” you said quietly and composed with your typical coolness. Steve looked slowly and disbelieving at you and you looked into two perfect blue, but haunted and tormented eyes. It already killed you to see Steve like that. 

Steve just stared blankly at you and the only thing you wanted was to embrace this man and to calm him, to say him everything would be okay, but you couldn’t because of all the others around you. That was the downside of feelings like love. Even if the plan was good, even if the plan was very important because observing Victor Johnson was important, it was clear: if you wanted to do the right thing, helping the team, you had to hurt the man you loved, no matter if you wanted or not. Tony’s almost excited voice brought you back to reality. 

“Perfect. So, to make it easier for you to find him tomorrow and to get in touch with him, we have video footage of Victor.” Tony said relieved, the argument with Steve already out of his mind, and so, he pressed a button on the table to play the mentioned footage. You looked slowly away from Steve, because there was nothing you could do to help him right now, and instead you looked at the wall with the video. 

“Wow, that’s Victor Johnson? Seemingly, you will have your fun with him, y/n. I mean, this man looks like a model. It will be easy for you to seduce him. Easy and daily routine-” Sam said amused but the elbow of Natasha in his ribcage let him stop again and as Sam realized what he had said, he looked ashamed at the ground because he remembered Steve’s feelings for you. That was the first time that you really hated Sam, because all of those comments were more than unnecessary.

The man was indeed very attractive, but he was nothing you wanted anymore. He was nothing special in your eyes. He was just tall, thin and good-looking. You looked closely to memorize the man’s face but in fact, you just tried not to look at Steve. If you would have looked at him, you were sure you would die because of the sight of his broken heart in his eyes. 

“Y/N, here is a picture of him. You have to stick him in your mind. We have just this one chance. If you fail, we will lose him again.” Tony said serious and you nodded, this time as a sign of your understanding. This mission was important and you knew it. You would do everything to help Steve and the Avengers because, after all the time you had spent with Steve, slowly but surely, you felt like one of the team. Steve’s Captain America voice dragged you out of your thoughts. Seemingly, he was still not done with arguing. You appreciated it, more than anything else, but there was no room for arguments. Everything that Steve needed to hear had to come from you, and everything he needed to hear from you couldn’t be said in this room. 

“You said this is important, Tony. What if something goes wrong?” Steve pointed out and Tony smirked victoriously. 

“We all will be there, too. Hide in some distance. But we will watch the scene. All of us. Even you, Steve. If something goes wrong, we will intervene. What did you think we would do?” Tony said smug and crossed his arms over his chest. 

You watched the scene between the two man. Obviously, Tony thought Steve was just worried about the success of the mission and the importance. But Steve was worried about you and your safety. Where Tony was eager to push you into the arms of another man was Steve eager to prevent exactly that because of his feelings for you. You knew that this would have happened at one point, even if you didn’t have started to sleep with Steve. You didn’t even want to seduce this guy, but for the first time, you wanted to do the right thing and you had no other skills than that. 

“This is not a good idea!” Steve said serious and looked from you at Tony. And then, Tony said the truth which was hurting to hear. Mostly for you. 

“Why? She always does something like that. That’s nothing new for her. Remember all the men, who were coming and going into this compound no matter how hard I tried to stop her. Remember all the men, you had met in the middle of the night or in the morning because she wanted just her fun and threw them then away. This one time, y/n can use her charm and her ‘skills’ for the right thing. Maybe she will have fun with Johnson, then, she will be happy, too. So, where is the problem?” Tony fired back. All your blood was draining off your face caused by Tony’s words and the guilt was back in your mind as you looked quickly at Steve who pressed his jaws and fists violently together. But you knew that Steve was too professional to let his feelings gain the control over himself in front of everyone. 

Steve had no other arguments he could use without to reveal what was going on between you and him. The only thing, that Steve saw as an alternative, was leaving. Steve stormed so fast out of the conference room that the door was slamming into the wall and the whole conference room was shaking. All eyes were glued at him and his reaction. You looked after him, your mind was running a mile per second to consider what you could or should do and then, with just a snap, it didn’t matter. You jumped up from your seat and chased after Steve down the hallway. You knew where you would find him and what you had to do.

**

“Was that really necessary, Tony?” Natasha asked bugged and looked with a hard glance at the billionaire. 

“What have I done?” Tony asked confused but Natasha shook just her head and was busy with stopping Bucky who was already on his way to follow you and Steve. 

“No, sorry, Barnes. That is something between the two.” Natasha said with a fondly smile and stopped Bucky with her hand on his arm.

“What do you mean with ‘between the two’? There is something going on between them?” Tony asked confused, and now, he knew what Natasha had meant. Natasha was now smirking about the cluelessness of her male team members. She looked around and let go of Bucky’s arm to cross her arms over her chest. 

“Seriously? None of you had a clue that there is something going on between them since some time?” Natasha said and looked at her friends but they all denied it with a head shaking. Except Wanda, she knew it as well. 

“Since some time? Since when?” Bucky asked confused and almost shocked because in his eyes, Steve was still this innocent and helpless young kid from Brooklyn from their youth and not a man who could handle a woman like you for longer than just one night, if anything. Beside that, Bucky never thought Steve would be your type, mostly because everyone knew the men which left the compound. Natasha patted slowly Bucky’s shoulder and smiled softly.

“Well, I am not sure, but since some months, I guess. I mean, when was the last time one of you saw a strange man leaving this compound? Since then is something going on between them.” Natasha said with a wink and left the conference room too.

The next day would be important, for the whole team. But Natasha also feared a hell of an emotional rollercoaster because she had no idea what would happen. Everything was possible when love was involved. 

***

As you reached Steve’s door just a short moment after Steve had entered his room, you weren’t surprised that the door was just left ajar. Steve knew you would want to talk with him, but nevertheless, you knocked softly and waited for any response to make sure that Steve was ready to talk with you. As you didn’t hear anything coming from the inside, you took a deep breath. 

“Steve, can I come in, please?” you asked carefully while you opened the door to Steve’s room slowly and peeked then into it. You sighed deeply and low as you saw how Steve was sitting on the edge of his bed like a defeated man, he supported himself with his elbows on his knees and his face was helpless buried into his hands. Steve raked his fingers deeply through the longer strands of his silky, blonde hair and even the sight of it looked painfully and desperate. You sneaked into the room of the too lovely and too nice super soldier and then, you closed the door silently behind you. 

Steve didn’t look up, he didn’t want to see the pity in your eyes you would have for him because he was sure you would see his behaviour as something stupid, ridiculous and silly, but he couldn’t change the way he felt right now. You walked over to Steve and stopped in front of his legs but he was still motionless, so you shoved his arms carefully and gently aside to kneel between his legs. But even as Steve felt your presence between his legs, he didn’t want to look at you in fear what he would see in your eyes. 

“Would you be so kind as to look at me, Steve, please?” you whispered softly after several moments of just waiting and only then, Steve looked slowly but hesitantly at you. As he met your eyes, you smiled softly and encouraging because you tried to erase the sadness out of his eyes, somehow. But the sadness was still there and so, you cupped his handsome face with your hands left and right on his cheeks and caressed his soft skin slowly with your thumbs. A move you usually never did in your life before, but Steve had taught you that, and so much more, and now, you could understand why he always liked to do it, it felt simply beautiful to be nice in such a way. 

“Steve, I-” you started softly but Steve interrupted you.

“Why did you have agreed to the plan?” Steve whispered and for one second, you were sure that you could hear tears layered in his smooth voice. You sighed and took a deep breath to brace yourself before you smiled again. 

“Steve, it is a good and easy plan and you know it. When I am with him, I will be able to bug his mansion.” you said low but Steve shook his head. 

“We will find another way. There must be another way than .. that.” Steve said a little stronger but helplessness was resonating in his voice, too, because he already knew the truth. There was no other plan. He had to admit that it was a good plan. You looked into Steve’s crystal clear blue eyes and once again, you asked yourself how was it possible that this man was loving you?

In your own eyes, you were utterly unworthy of Steve’s big heart, good soul and his huge amount of love for you. You also knew that Steve deserved so much more than you and that he deserved someone better in his life than you would ever be. You never referred yourself as a whore or a slut because you didn’t sell your body for sex, but compared to Steve, you felt totally worthless and useless. The only useful thing you could add to the team was your body and your charm. When you were honest to yourself, you had no really other skills. 

But on the other hand, Steve had shown you a kind of love and a way to be treated by a man and you didn’t want to give that up so easily because now, you were the one who was addicted to someone else. You loved Steve. You just needed a way to tell him exactly that. Steve had intoxicated you with his love and you started to love this state of love drunkenness just because of him. But this mission was important and you had to convince Steve somehow that this plan was the only chance the team had.

“Steve, please. There is no better way. Well, no easier way. Believe me, I w-” you said low and calming but once again, Steve interrupted you and broke your heart with his next words. 

“I know, I know. I don’t have forgotten it, believe me. I gave you the freedom to do what you want or to meet who you want. But…,” but Steve stopped himself because there was no reason for him to talk further. The ‘rules’. Steve had made the rules by himself. He gave you your freedom to do what you wanted, but he didn’t have thought you would use it now, after all the time. Seemingly, now, he had to pay for making those rules. 

“But what, Steve?” you asked low and waited for him to answer. You hoped he would tell you what he wanted to say. You wanted to know what was going on in the mind of this awesome man. You also needed an opportunity to tell Steve that you didn’t want you freedom anymore. So, as Steve looked at you again, you nodded encouraging. 

“Since all the time we had spent together … I- I…,” Steve stopped and sighed with closed eyes before he looked again at you. You could see that, whatever he wanted to say, was tormenting for him. 

“Do I really mean so less to you, y/n? Is it that why you are so eager to work after this plan? Is it that why you want to be with this guy?” Steve whispered and you looked away because it was too much to see Steve tortured by himself like that. His broken heart was visible in his eyes and it ached painfully in your whole body. All of that just because you didn’t have the courage to say what you had to say to make everything good. After another deep breath, you looked again at Steve who was waiting for your answer. 

“Steve, you .. you mean so... I- I,” you stopped yourself and gnawed on your lower lip as you considered what exactly you wanted to say. Your heart was beating too fast in your throat, but as you looked into Steve’s worried and sad eyes, you knew that he deserved the next words and even so many more. 

“Steve listen, since we started with our … since we started with us, I just came to you. I was just with you all the time. There were no other men next to you, never, I promise, but I guess, you already know it. And I swear to you, I don’t want and won’t change that. Not now, not ever, not because of this plan and mostly not because of this guy. Alright? I promise you, Steve, no matter what Tony had suggested with his plan and with all the stuff he had said, I won’t kiss the man and I won’t sleep with him. But, Steve, please, let me help you and the team. I can really help you with that. I want to help you.” and after you had said that and as you saw how Steve looked at you with big eyes, you chuckled softly and kissed a dumbfounded looking super soldier. 

To say Steve was shocked and surprised about what you had said wouldn’t be fitting. He had listened very carefully to what you had said, to every single word and he was sure he had really heard what you had said. It weren’t just your words, Steve was sure that he had heard the true meaning of your words through the lines because he was practiced to read between the lines when it came to you. As he felt your lips softly lying on his, Steve’s brain was still busy with processing your words and what they meant in the big picture, but on the other hand, his instinct was kicking in and he kissed you immediately back without a second thought and embraced you with his arms strongly to bring you closer to himself. 

The unspoken words, thus the true meaning behind the things you had said, that you were and would be loyal to Steve, were dancing through Steve’s room, but Steve was also smart enough not to push you to say what exactly you meant. He was happy with the things he got from you. If you really meant what you had said, Steve was sure, you would be able to tell him that when you were ready to say it and Steve would wait for you to be ready, no matter how long that would be. 

You felt relieved by the feeling of Steve’s responding lips working against yours and you moaned sighing as his arms were wrapping around you to bring you closer. You loved it to be as close as possible to Steve because he gave you security, protection and comfort, things you never had thought you would need in your life. And now, it was everything you wanted.

As the kiss continued, you weren’t surprised that Steve tightened the grip around you even more to lift you from the ground and as you noticed what Steve’s intention was, you moved with him. You were sitting on Steve’s lap and straddled him as Steve left your lips to undress slowly his shirt before he let himself falling on his back. You watched his moves with excitement and after another longing glances along his perfect body, you followed his lead and undressed your shirt, too.

You liked it to straddle Steve, even still dressed, he felt good and strong between your legs and you liked the sight in front of you when he was spread out underneath you. Steve was perfect into every tiny cell of his body and the dim light of the setting sun, which was falling through his windows, underlined this fact even more. 

Automatically, your hands found their ways to Steve’s waist and impressive v-line which you stroked softly and appreciative as you traced the lines of the strong muscles with your fingers. Something felt different this time and you knew it was because of your love. You wanted Steve, but you weren’t rushing anything because you wanted to take your time with Steve how he did it usually with you when he had his gentle way with your body. 

And now, Steve watched you with excitement. Your warm, small hands were softly stroking the skin of his hip bones and you reached now and then the rim of his jeans, but you didn’t open the belt or the pants, instead, you took your time to caress Steve’s body as something special. Steve felt your hands teasingly slow moving from his hips to his abs where you took your time to caress them slowly, too. You bent forward to meet his skin with your lips and then, you started to kiss along Steve’s v-line up up to his abs and to his chest. 

The kisses and the small bites, you left all over Steve’s body, were soft and gently and you drove Steve crazy in a totally new way what let him slightly and slowly squirming underneath you caused by pure lust. The sex with you was always perfect and thrilling, no matter what you and Steve did. That was the reason why Steve and you were already addicted to each other. Steve loved it that you were soft with him because he knew it was his achievement, he was the one who had showed you this way. Steve enjoyed your sweet, soft lips on his body and wherever your lips met his skin, goosebumps was spreading from this spot over his body and shot excited thrills through his veins. 

You reached the beginning of Steve’s thick chest muscles and sucked on his skin to leave marks from your lips and teeth on his body as you made your way further up to his neck, which was one of Steve’s weak spots. You loved it to use it to drive him crazy whenever he let you. You also loved the feeling of his skin and twitching muscles underneath your lips because there was nothing in the world that tasted so good and was so delicious like Steve’s skin and you wanted to show him how you felt about him, mostly because you weren’t able to say it. 

Even when you had discovered for yourself that you loved Steve, you weren’t ready to say the L-word and you didn’t know if you would ever be ready to say it, so you needed a different way to show Steve how you were feeling about him and how important the thing between the two of you was for you. But the only way you knew was still the physically way. 

And you knew you were good with this way, because the sound of Steve’s low moans after every bite and kiss gave you directly the answer to your actions and they also fueled your blood with longing for Steve. 

As you reached Steve’s neck, you kissed and bit him carefully but strong enough to let Steve’s heart beating faster. Before you could reach Steve’s sharp jaw line, Steve’s hands were already on your shoulder blades to stroke you softly and made you tingly for more of his hands on your body. As you bit the last time into his carotid, Steve digged his nails softly in your skin as a response and embraced you stronger with his thick arms across your small back. 

The only thing you wanted now was to look into Steve’s handsome face so, you supported yourself with your hands next to his head to look Steve into his longing eyes. 

As Steve saw a new kind of fire in your eyes, how you were looking at him and into his eyes and that you started to gnaw insecure on your lower lip, he just wanted to kiss you to let you feel safe, even if he was the one who was worried about the whole plan. Steve moved his hands slowly and appreciative from your back to your neck and placed first one hand on your cheek and neck before he stroked with his other hand the loosely strands of your soft, wavy hair out of your face and locked his eyes with yours to drown into your beautiful eyes. 

“Steve…” you breathed very low but you weren’t sure what exactly you heard in your own voice because it could mean everything from love, to the man underneath you, to fear, also caused by the love to the man underneath you. 

As Steve heard his name falling from your lips in this very new, shaky, insecure and breathy way, he just wanted to taste your incredible delicious lips and wanted to feel them on his own. He also hoped there would be another occasion to hear his name like that again because he already loved it. Steve pulled your head slowly down into the direction of his lips and kissed you soft, slowly and tenderly to give and to show you all the love he had for you and to remember you how important you were for him. Your eyes fluttered shut and in this exact moment, nothing else mattered anymore for you. No Tony. No plan. No Victor Johnson, just Steve. 

You weren’t lying to Steve, everything you had said was the truth and as he kissed you like that, you knew you wouldn’t do anything to hurt this sensitive man who deserved so much good in his life. You melted against Steve’s damn soft lips and moaned humming into his slightly parted mouth. The only thing that you and your body wanted was to be closer to him. You drew your legs further up that you were carefully sitting on Steve’s stomach while your arms found instinctively their way around his neck. For Steve, it was cozy to have you cuddling against him like this and Steve hoped that this wouldn’t be the last time. 

Your heart was beating faster caused by Steve’s love filled glance before the kiss and the touch of his hands during the kiss. Steve was able to feel it under his hands what made him proud once again because of the effect he had on you. 

Steve knew that you had changed since the two of you had started to date each other. Seemingly, your changes were deeper than he thought they would be because you were so eager to give up your ‘freedom’. But these changes were also the reasons why Steve was worried in the first place. Steve hoped pleadingly that Tony’s stupid plan wouldn’t change something on you again. In the end, Steve feared you could fall back into old patterns and that would mean that he would lose you. A thing, Steve couldn’t handle too well, not after all the perfect time he had spent with you. 

None of you two hurried what you were doing. Steve tangled his fingers deeper into your hair and stroked softly and slowly with his tongue over your underlip which was carefully captive between his teeth. You greeted his tongue with your own and that was the point where Steve tightened the grip around you even more and rolled, with you on top, over his side to lay you down on your back and to settle himself between your legs to pin you on his bed. You let your hands dancing over his broad back until you reached his ass which you stroked softly before your hands were slipping under his jeans. 

As you felt how Steve lifted his body up from you to create some space, you reached for Steve’s belt to open it together with the jeans and started to push all clothes together down until Steve pushed them to his feet and let them dropping to the ground. You did the same with your own clothes and underwear, as you were naked, Steve looked longing over your body, with his lower lip captive between his teeth, before he crawled back to hover over you and settled himself again between your legs. 

The special feeling was still present in Steve’s room and even in your body, so now, you were the one who cupped Steve’s face with your hands while he was supporting himself with his arms left and right to your head. The feeling of your small, warm hands on his cheeks let him slightly shuddering and smiling while he was waiting what you wanted to say. 

“I want you. I need you, Steve.” you breathed low and this few words let him smiling even more before he kissed you again very passionately and at the same time, he entered your wet entrance with his hard cock. Steve’s pace was teasingly slow as he slid along your wet walls into you to reach the deepest point with ease. It was the perfect pace for this romantically moment. No other word would fit more than that it was pure romantic. You moaned and gasped for air but Steve held your lips still captive with his and enjoyed the sound how you were muffled moaning into his mouth until you were almost breathless. 

You searched for any support and so, you grasped with your hands into Steve’s hair to dig your fingers into the soft strands as he started to roll his hips against yours, still very slowly but firmly. As Steve left your lips and stopped to kiss you, you let your head falling back caused by pure lust and your back arched up that your chest met Steve’s skin. Steve took the opportunity to have control over your body and captive one nipple with his lips while he played with the other one between his fingers to intensify the feeling for you even more. 

Steve always knew what he had to do to give you the right amount of pleasure. He knew your body already very well and loved the way you reacted just because of him and his actions. You closed your eyes while you enjoyed what Steve did to you because pure lust was flowing through your blood and you already felt that you were close. Steve felt it too in the way how you tightened the grip on him and he wanted nothing more than to shoot you over the edge. Steve connected his eyes with yours and smiled excited while he was watching you. 

“Come for me, y/n. I want to feel you coming on my cock with your delicious juice.” Steve whispered against your lips and you moaned by the sound of his smooth voice compared with the dirty words. 

“Come with me, Captain. I want to feel you coming with me.” you breathed back because you knew how much Steve liked it to hear how much you wanted or needed him. As Steve heard your wish, he moaned in pure pleasure, kissed you and buried then his nose into the crook of your neck to kiss you and to push himself deeper into you. 

Not long after that, your walls were clenching around Steve’s vibrating cock and the familiar knot of pleasure was building inside of you and ready to explode. Your nails were digging into the muscles of Steve’s back and he could hear how you gasped for air as your orgasm was hitting you. You screamed Steve’s name breathless and in pure lust and Steve followed with his own orgasm right behind you. You felt his hot juice rushing through your system as Steve released his sperm deep inside of you. You would never get bored of the feeling of this man inside of you. Steve was just simply perfect. 

Steve rolled from you to lay next to you with his arm underneath your head how he liked it the most. You turned over to him and then, you placed your hand on his cheek and pulled him down to kiss him sweetly. You snuggled against his chest, to your most favorite place, to cuddle with him. Steve sighed happy, embraced you with his arms and tugged you closer to him to snuggle his nose into your good smelling hair.

Steve was still worried about the plan and the mission. There was so much that could go wrong. He loved you so much that he couldn’t stand the thought to lose you to someone else. You felt that Steve’s thoughts became darker again as the hold on you got even stronger. His mind was still troubled and you couldn’t blame him, not with the behaviour you had shown day in and day out during all the time before you were close with Steve. 

“Steve, everything will be okay, I promise.” you whispered softly against his skin and he nodded slowly. Steve closed his eyes, inhaled your scent deeply to memorize it and hoped strongly everything would go according to plan, that you had told him the truth, and that he would be able to hold you in his arms again after this stupid mission.

***

“Guys, show time. Y/N is entering the gala, now.” Tony said and you rolled with your eyes. The whole day, Tony drove you crazy because he was thinking he had to prepare you for the mission. As if it would be so complicated for you to join a gala and to meet a man. For you, this was the easiest part of the plan, the most complicated part was that you had to storage your feelings to get over with this mission. 

The only thing that was going through your mind right now, was the fact that you didn’t have had any other chance to talk with Steve since the last night. There was no free minute without someone would have seen you two and you just hoped Steve had understood what you had tried to show him with the last night and what you had said to him. 

Before you stepped into the crowded room, with all the high society of New York, and with the wannabe important people, you stepped behind a pillar to hide yourself from the view of your teammates to take a deep breath with closed eyes. There was no reason to freak out. You would walk into this ballroom, you would find Victor Johnson and you would go with him to his place to bug his mansion in hope it would give you information about Hydra and their whereabouts. 

It was a good plan, beside the fact that you had to flirt with a guy, what you didn’t want, and that you had to go home with him, what you also didn’t want. Added to that, the team would hear everything of the conversation. What meant: Steve would hear everything and this thought hurt a lot, because you knew you had to be good with the flirting thing to be convincing. Mentally, you made a note that this would be the last mission where you would flirt with a guy. This one time was already too much. But now, you had this mission and you would help the Avengers as good as you could. 

You entered the gala and within one second, you had all the attention of all men glued at you and for the first time, you just wanted the attention of one man and this man wasn’t even on the gala. You looked around to search for Victor but Tony was still a pain in the ass. 

“Y/N, don’t forget to focus on Victor. Don’t get distracted by someone else.” Tony said and the only wish you had was to grab the small earpiece and to drown it into your champaign. None of that stuff was helpful to calm Steve because you had seen how worried he was as you had left the compound for the gala. 

“Tony, please, shut the fuck up. I know the plan and I will stay focused.” you whispered while you took a sip of your drink to hide your moving lips. You walked through the crowd but Victor was still nowhere to be seen. You loved every second where Victor didn’t attend on the gala. 

**

“How you doing, buddy?” Bucky asked and watched Steve closely. Bucky saw how nervous Steve was and now, where he knew that there might be something going on between his best friend and you, he worried even more about Steve. This mission got on Steve’s nerves, Bucky could notice it since you had left the compound. It got worse as you had entered the hotel where the gala took place. 

“I am fine, Buck.” Steve hurried to say and focused back on you and the gala from a room, in a hotel, opposite to the hotel where you were. But Bucky could tell that nothing was fine. Steve was totally tense. All the muscles in Steve’s body were flexing and tensing as if he wanted to be ready to jump out of the window in the next second. Even the muscles in Steve’s jaw were strained as he pressed his jaws together. 

“You know, you can talk with me, Steve.” Bucky said calm to distract Steve a little but that wasn’t easy as Bucky had thought because Steve just ignored his oldest friend. As Bucky tried again to get the attention of his best friend, Steve stepped even closer to the window and was on high-alert. 

“Victor is there. Victor has seen y/n.” Steve said serious to inform the others but tensed the second he had seen how Victor was slowly approaching to you. 

Show time…

**

The evening passed by how you thought it would happen. The second, you had seen Victor standing in a corner of the ballroom, chatting with some other guys dressed in expensive tuxedos, you walked into the direction to gain the attention. That was easy because, usually, you had just to pass a man. And with Victor was is exactly the same. You approached the small group of men, and after you had the attention of the first man, you had the attention of every man in the small group, but you were just fixated on Victor, your missions target. You turn on all the charm you had and it worked perfectly as you saw how Victor Johnson was staring back at you while you passed him. 

Victor Johnson was a typical business man, who wouldn’t accept a no easily, and mostly not of a woman. You knew it the second you had seen him and so you could play the game of the farouche woman. You would give this man something to chase after how men like him loved it to do. You would give Victor Johnson the opportunity to see you as a trophy. The wish to get you for the night should be the only thought in his mind on this event.

The moment, Victor had seen you, he followed you to the bar and the game was on a roll. 

“Good evening. Can I invite you to a drink?” Victor asked with a deep, masculine voice. His voice was soft and accompanied with a good-sounding english accent that matched to his appearance. If this man was really a villain and working with Hydra, he was the best looking villain you had ever seen in your life.

“Actually,” you said with a seductive voice while you turned around to face Victor. His eyes were fascinating, the lopsided smile very attractive and his short brown hair soft looking. You expanded the moment where you looked at Victor to tease him and Victor used the pause from you to let his eyes roaming over your body and the tight fitting dress. 

“No, I already have a drink. But thank you.” you whispered sexy while you held his eyes captive with yours. Victor’s eyes became darker and you knew you had him in your hands the second you had said ‘no’. You were about to leave but of course, Victor stopped you. 

“But it is not the last drink of this night. At least, I hope so. It would be a great disappointment if you would leave the gala, soon. Your presence is the reason why I am still here.” Victor said smugly but his british accent allowed it to him because it didn’t sound arrogant like you were used to. 

It also was the perfect start for the following conversation. You played impressed by Victor and his confidence. Victor used the opportunity to have your attention to impress you even more with everything he had to offer. And there was a lot he could use to impress you. Like the typical business man, with too much money and time, Victor told you about his mansion out of town with the huge garden, the pool and the many bedrooms. He told you about every single car he owned, from the sports cars to the classic cars of his collection. 

Victor Johnson bragged with all the money he had, the jets, he could use to travel around the world. Of course, he promised you to show you the world if you would come with him. He also told you about his huge collection of paintings he would have in his mansion. For you, it was an easy job, because you just had to nod to show your interest in him and his lifestyle.

As Victor saw that you were impressed by him, his money and his mentioned things, he knew, you couldn’t resist him anymore. By the look in your eyes, he knew that you wouldn’t resist him and even if he was british and had a good breeding, he was still a man and you were a damn hot and perfect looking woman. Different kind of pictures of you in his bed were already running through his mind and that was exactly what he wanted.

And so, the ‘touching’ part started. At some point, Victor’s hand found its way on your forearm and as he noticed that you weren’t flinching, he started to stroke softly with his fingers over your silky skin. After a while, you stepped closer to Victor and placed your hand on his chest, where you stroked softly over the fabric of his suit shirt. 

Victor invited you to drinks, he danced with you and found many ways to be close to you. His hand possessively on your hip when he was guiding you into the middle of the dance floor, or his hand on the small of your back while the two of you were dancing. You played your role perfectly. You were cocky at the right points, you were seductive when Victor didn’t expect it and you always found ways to be closer to him, as well. With each passing hour, the two of you came closer and closer to each other and you almost counted the seconds until you could get away from Victor but first, you had to get even closer to him and mostly, you had to get into his mansion. In fact, to get into the mansion would be the easy part, to get out of it could be more difficult. 

**

Which each word and touch of Victor, Bucky feared more and more for Steve’s state while the evening continued. Steve’s knuckles turned painfully white when he had to listen to all the compliments Victor gave you. Bucky saw how Steve clenched his teeth stronger together whenever he saw how Victor was touching you. And Bucky could also hear how Steve’s pulse got erratic whenever you touched Victor and when you were laughing about something the guy had said. 

All of that were evidences for Bucky that there was indeed something going on between Steve and you. Sure, Bucky was impressed about your beauty on this evening. Your dress was perfect and sexy as hell. You looked completely stunning and amazing, your flirting skills were incredible and perfectly working. Now, Bucky understood why you had a different man every night. You were irresistible and now, Bucky also had the opportunity to watch and to hear your working charm. 

But that was exactly the problem. Bucky was able to hear and to see you, and so was Steve. It was nerve-wracking for Steve to see you with Victor, no matter if it was just a mission and you were working after Tony’s plan and maybe just acting. No matter how professional and dutiful Steve was, Bucky feared an evil outburst of him, the second something wouldn’t go according to plan or Victor would go too far. 

Steve noticed Bucky’s concerned glances at him but he couldn’t concentrate on him. Steve’s whole attention was with you and Victor Johnson. You did a good job, Steve had to admit that, but that didn’t mean that he had to like what he saw and heard. Steve needed all his willpower not to scream caused by burning jealousy as he saw how Victor was touching you for the first time. He tried his best to ignore the fact that you were touching Victor, too. And Steve also tried to stay focused on the important mission while the two of you were dancing.

But all the things Victor said about your eyes, your smile, your perfect hair and body compared with all the money, expensive cars, the lifestyle and travels he promised you, were more than enough to let Steve’s blood boil in his veins. Not in one of these points, Steve was able to compete with this guy. Not that Steve had wanted it, but now, with Victor Johnson so close to you, Steve compared himself again with all your men and he also feared you would notice what you had missed all the time where you were just together with Steve who couldn’t keep up with those guys. It would be so easy for you to quit the work with the Avengers and to leave the team behind to search a man who could give you everything that Victor had already promised you. 

Steve was drowning deep into his dark thoughts and for the first time, he was happy to hear Tony’s voice in his ear which was able to cut through his thoughts. 

“Y/N is leaving the gala with Victor. Guys, we will follow them but remember to stay behind so no one can see you. Y/N? Don’t forget to bug the mansion.” Tony said and addressed you with the last sentence directly, even if he knew that you couldn’t answer. Steve noticed that Tony didn’t mention any ambivalent things again and he was thankful for it. 

As Steve watched how the two of you left the hotel, as he watched how you walked elegantly down the red carpet with feather-light steps with your glossy high-heels and your arm linked with Victor’s arm to walk to Victor’s already waiting limousine, Steve saw how you looked up into the direction where you assumed Steve would be. He was sure that you couldn’t see him but Steve saw the fast but lovely smile appearing on your lips and the very quick nod of your head before you slid into the car closely followed by Victor. 

**

“Wow, Victor, you weren’t lying, were you? This mansion is huge! It has so many rooms and all those guards outside. I have already counted like ten of them around. Are you so much in danger? Or are you maybe just dangerous?” you asked cheeky but with a seductively voice while Victor guided you the way through the foyer into his enormous and stylish living room with the huge windows which were leading into the garden, the expensive interior and the impressive paintings. But it was a trick from you. With mentioning the rooms and the guards, you wanted to inform your team how the situation was inside the mansion.

“Oh, my sweet darling, you have no idea who I really am.” Victor said mysteriously while he was walking through his living room and undressed his jacket to place it on the couch to make himself comfortable. You waited for the right moment to place the bug on a perfect spot. Tony had briefed you which places you could choose for the bug and now, you walked around until you reached a perfect spot but poorly, Victor was already turning around again and looked straight at you with a certain, aroused glance in his eyes. 

“What is with this painting over there? Who has painted it?” you asked and pointed at a huge picture across the room and Victor followed your outstretched index finger. That was the moment where your hand darted forward and you placed the bug near a wall socket behind a shelf. It was a high-tech thingy of Tony, the bug would even work behind a bookshelf. 

“Perfect, y/n! Good job! The bug is working. You can leave whenever you want.” Tony’s voice said into your ear and you were relieved that the job was done. Now, you just needed a way to get out of the mansion without to raise too much suspicion. That was the tricky part because you knew Victor expected you to stay and of course, he expected much more than just that. And because Victor expected much more, he didn’t even walked over to the picture you had pointed at, instead, he turned around to walk over to you.

“Let us stop talking about paintings. I have something much prettier in front of me right now, than all the paintings combined in this room.” Victor said and approached you slowly and with a predatory glance in his eyes. Now was the time where you knew exactly what should follow and you needed a plan to get out of this mansion. Fast. 

“Well, but what if I want to learn more about your paintings?” you said smiling to play for time. Victor’s face fell in surprise and then he started to laugh. 

“Oh, y/n, you are so funny. For a short moment, I really thought you were serious. But I can see in your eyes that you already want me. There is a special kind of fire sparkling in your beautiful eyes. And this fire is there and waiting for its release. I can give you everything your heart desired.” Victor said low and raspy. You stepped slowly back to gain any kind of space between the two of you, but as your bare back hit a bookshelf, you knew there was no escape. 

“Victor, I-” you started but the sight of Victor, who slowly unbuttoned his suit shirt, interrupted you. Not because his body looked good or something like that, in fact, you didn’t pay much attention to his physical appearance, but the fact that Victor was already half naked and very close to you let you stop in mid-sentence. Victor stopped just inches in front of you and placed his hands left and right from your head on the shelf to cage you with his arms between his body and the wall behind you. You could smell the expensive aftershave on Victor’s skin as he lowered his head slowly into your direction. 

“Honey, that won’t be last time you will say my name this night. Be prepared because I want to keep you for a while.” Victor said, stroked some strands of your hair out of your face and leant forward to kiss you.

“Well, you know-” 

But that was all you could say because everything happened at the same time. A hell of a storm was exploding in your ear as all the voices of the whole team was yelling at the same time. You weren’t sure what was going on out there, the only things you could make out were screaming “no’s” and “stop’s”. And then there was another voice to be heard, clear and loud, coming from the garden. You knew this voice all too well. 

“Steve, no! Stop!” Bucky screamed as loud as possible with his booming voice which almost shook the walls of the whole mansion. You and Victor were looking to the source of the sound but before Victor could say anything, you saw a silver, red and blue looking something whizzing past you. It shoved Victor away from you and threw him against the next wall, then you felt the shattered glass of the broken window hitting your skin and a tall man was rushing past you seconds after Victor was hitting the floor. 

At the same time, the sound of blazing gunfire in the other rooms caused much more trouble. Everything happened very fast, but you were able to watch how Steve, who was the tall, fast man, running over to an already unconscious Victor, how Steve grabbed Victor on his collar to raise him up from the ground and how he punched several times into Victor’s face with his bare fists until the face was bloody and not recognizable anymore. Before Steve could kill Victor with his fists, Bucky was behind his friend and dragged a furious and trembling Steve out of the mansion. 

****

The sun was already rising as you left the mansion after this too long and very exhausting night, but even if the sun was peeking through the trees, it was still too chilly that you were really thankful that Bucky gave you his warm jacket which you had draped over your shoulders while you passed Fury and the boys of Shield which were busy to clean up the mess of Steve’s actions. The mission was successful, nevertheless. Shield just needed a background story and a few preparations to disguise Steve’s behaviour behind a raid attack and everything would be okay again. 

You passed them all to search for Steve. The only thing that mattered for you. After a few steps through the garden, you spotted Steve sitting on a bench in safe distance to the mansion where Bucky had placed him to cool down after Bucky had reassure him.

You walked slowly over to him and noticed Steve’s state which broke your heart. Steve was looking sad and guilty at the same time because of his actions. His broad shoulders were slumped down, his head hang low between his shoulders and he played with his helmet in his hands. Even as your shadow was crawling along the grass and into the field of Steve’s view, he refused to look up at you. 

“Steve. What were you thinking?” you asked quietly while you looked at Steve and waited for him to look up at you but he avoided you and your eyes and was just playing with the straps of his helmet. 

“I- I don’t know… I’m sorry...“ Steve breathed guilty and very quietly. He was embarrassed because of his behaviour during the mission and in front of you. Steve knew he had acted like a lovestoned, jealous fool as he stormed into this mansion, he had endangered the whole mission with his thoughtless attacking of Victor and Steve had also embarrassed you in front of the whole team because of his feelings. 

He was sure that this was too much for you and that you would find him too silly to stay with him any longer. It broke his heart because Steve knew he went too far and he had lost you because of his own misplaced jealousy and possessive actions. You weren’t his, you were never his and now, Steve knew that he had lost you because of his feelings. There was no other possibility for you than to leave him. 

“Tell me the truth, Steve, please. What was your plan with that, mh? Why were you storming into this mansion like a raging steamroller?” you asked calm and knelt into the grass which was wet with dew in front of Steve. Slowly but surely, Steve looked at you but the sadness and the guilt were still written on his too handsome face.

“You want the truth? I was jealous, okay?” Steve whispered and looked away again because of fear what he could see in your beautiful eyes. 

“You were jealous? Steve, you knew what the plan was.” you said still calm. This man in front of you truly loved you. He loved you so much that he was acting blindly. He loved you enough to be jealous. That Steve reacted like that made you aware of the deep meaning behind his feelings. It made you excited like never before. It was flattering for you, mostly because you never thought Steve would act emotionally like that during a mission. Because of his jealousy, Steve had endangered an important mission. That thought let your heart beating faster caused by pure happiness. 

“Yeah, I know. But as I saw you together with him… the way how he had looked at you. The way how you had looked at him and everything he had said-” Steve whispered and played stronger with the straps to distract him from the imagines in his head and to canalise the building rage in his blood. 

“I was just acting, Steve…” you said lovely and Steve nodded, still not looking at you. 

“I- I know, but…” Steve stopped because he wasn’t brave enough to say what he was thinking. But you wanted to know what he was thinking. It was important for you to know what was going on in Steve’s mind. 

“But what, Steve? Come on, speak to me.” you said encouraging and laid your hands on top of his to stop his nervous moves. Steve looked at your small, soft hands on his and how you caressed softly the bruised skin of his bloody knuckles with your thumbs. He took a deep breath and collected all his courage to look at you. 

“I was scared. I was really scared. Don’t get me wrong, like I said, you owe me nothing and I know that, really, but I… Y/N, I can’t lose you to him. You aren’t mine, I know. But, you know I love you. I love you so much. I am addicted to you, I need you, and the thought to lose you to him, well, to a man like him, was more than I could handle. I know that I can’t give you what they could give you with all the money, the cars and the lifestyle. It’s the kind of lifestyle you know and you deserve. I … I’m just sorry, y/n.” Steve whispered and as he said the things about his love to you and the fear he could lose you, his voice was shaking and broke almost completely beneath the burden of the tears. As you heard his voice and what he said, your heart broke because you didn’t want for him that he tormented himself in this way and you knew you had to stop that as fast as possible. Once and for all. 

“Oh, Steve-” you whispered and tried to control your voice. Steve sighed by the undefined sound of your voice because he felt totally stupid of everything. Now, he feared you would give your meaning about his actions straight and then, you would go. 

“I… I’m an idiot… I know...” Steve whispered guilty but you just chuckled and nodded. 

“Yes, Steve! You are an idiot! A complete idiot! But you are my idiot and I am already yours.” you said and those words were enough for Steve to look at you, you looked lovely back at Steve and into his eyes and then, you placed your hands on his cheeks, you pulled him down to you and kissed this man with the sad eyes, the jealousy burning in his veins, with the guilt and the worries written on his face and with the big heart with the endless love for you. 

It was the most loveliest kiss you had ever given to someone else and Steve was able to feel it through the connection of your lips. He melted more than ever underneath your lips while he hummed very low and brought you desperately close with his arms firmly around your waist underneath Bucky’s jacket which fell to the ground caused by Steve’s move. You started to smile as you felt his arms around you and after a few more seconds, you moved your hands to Steve’s chest and left his lips to look into the most perfect eyes of the world. 

“Steve, I have promised you yesterday, I wouldn’t do anything with him. Nothing he, or someone else, has is interesting for me. Nothing those men could offer me is something that I would want anymore. There is only one thing I want and desperately need in my life. You. You and your love. I want you. I need you because I love you, Steve.” you breathed low but serious to make clear that Steve understood every word. Steve looked shocked at you. He had expected everything but not that and his brain needed a moment to process what you had said. 

“Y-you lo… Wait… what? Are you sure? Did you have said you love me?” Steve stuttered utterly confused and in your eyes, he looked totally adorable. More adorable than ever before. 

“Yes, Steve. I love you. Only you. You are not the only one who is addicted, believe me. You are the only man I want and need in my life. And I just want to have fun with you.” you whispered against Steve’s lips and in the next second, and as his brain had processed everything, he crashed his lips on yours for an urgent and fervently kiss with his one hand in your hair and the other arm around your waist to raise you into his lap. 

You chuckled against his lips and snaked your arms around Steve’s neck to sank deeper against Steve’s strong and warm body to melt against his lips. As the two of you were breathless from kissing, Steve left your lips and leant his forehead against yours with a stupid smile on his lips and with closed eyes. 

“Can you say it again, please?” Steve whispered and you chuckled once again. 

“I love you, Steve Rogers.” you said clearly and after that, Steve tightened the grip around you even more and buried his nose into the crook of your neck more than happy while you were tickling the short, soft hair in the nape of his neck. 

**

“O-oh alright. Yeah. I get it, now. There is definitely something going on between them.” Bucky said smirking because he was happy for his best friend. Sam approached next to him and patted Bucky’s shoulder. 

“Just now, Barnes?” Sam said grinning and teasingly. 

“Oh, come on! You were clueless like me, all the time.” Bucky said a little bugged, but Sam just shook his head. 

“Nope, I knew it.” Sam said arrogant. 

“No, you didn’t, birdman!” Bucky fired back and pushed Sam away with his fist on Sam’s shoulder. 

“Believe me, Barnes. I knew it all the time!” Sam fired back, crossed his arms over his chest and winked at Bucky while he was slowly walking away. Bucky followed Sam to argue even more. 

“No, you didn’t have known it!” Bucky said once again and Sam chuckled. 

***

Epilog

Saturday, a few days later… 

The clicking sound of your silver, glossy high-heels was announcing your entrance into the living room as you were slowly coming down the stairs. All eyes, of all the Avengers, were glued at you and the men stared speechless at you with an open mouth. You smirked confident as you reached the last stair and Tony was the first one who had his voice back under control. 

“W-what...?” Tony asked you shaky and his eyes were roaming up and down along your body. You knew what caught his attention: the tight fitting, shimmering, short and strapless, dark blue dress with the deep back necklace. But the most eye-catching thing on your dress were the sparkling silver star in the middle of your decollete and the glossy silver strips which were leaving the star over the fabric. 

You stopped in the middle of the kitchen while you put your earrings into the earlobe. You watched how Tony was focused on your long legs and you thought he would say something more, but no. Instead, Natasha asked you the really important question. 

“Are you going out?” Natasha asked and you heard something vibrating in her voice. There was it, the protective attitude when it came to Steve. To Tony, you made more than clear that you wouldn’t do missions like ‘Victor Johnson’ ever again, seemingly, not everyone got the memo. You stepped closer to the couch where Natasha was sitting on and you smirked confident while you were nodding. 

“Yes, I am going out tonight. My usual club is calling for me, I can already hear it. And I will go with him, my boyfriend.” you said smirking and pointed with your thumb into the direction of the stairs as Steve was coming down while he closed his black suit jacket. Steve looked perfect. Not only that he had agreed to go out with you into your favorite club, he also had agreed that you picked out the clothes and Steve was perfectly fine with it because you had a good taste in clothes. It was simple what Steve was wearing, it were black suit pants, a black suit shirt and a black suit jacket, and all of that just underlined Steve’s blonde hair, his broad frame and his incredible blue eyes. 

Your mouth was already watering by the sight of Steve and how he was walking over to you. Out of habit, Steve’s arm found its way around your waist, he pulled you close and brushed a kiss on top of your hair. 

“Are you ready to go, doll?” Steve whispered smiling and you nodded as you looked up at your handsome man. 

“Guys, you don’t have to stay up for us. It could be a long night.” Steve said smirking as he stole your line, to the surprise of everyone and then, you and Steve were out of the compound to have some fun, together. 

“Does y/n’s dress look like Steve’s stealth suit?” Bucky asked confused and looked after the two of you even when you were gone since some minutes. 

“Yes, Bucky. And there is also something going on between them, well, you know, if you don’t have noticed it, already.” Sam said teasingly and smirked as Bucky rolled with his eyes. 

“Oh, shut the fuck up, Sam!” 

“Language!” everyone else of the team yelled at the same time. 

Even if a few things were new in the compound, some things would seemingly never change.


End file.
